Saturday, May 26, 2012

Day 43 - Frustration in the Little Things




I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to build up frustration in looking at the little things that are not going the way I want them to go, allowing myself to take every action that does not move in the way that I want/hope it to move, creating a tiny bit of frustration with each action/movement that does not go as planned, building up the frustration over time until I become possessed with the frustration instead of breathing in the physical, accumulating breath in each movement, accumulating myself here in each breath.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become frustrated at the little things that don't  work out the way I had planned, thinking `Why can't this just do what I want!!!`, creating a build up of frustration which literally blinds me from seeing reality because I will only see more little things that do not follow my wants and continue to build up the frustration. In this I commit myself to letting go of the frustration in these moments by taking a moment from what I am doing working, on and breathing until I am here within breath and stable within breath, and only then continue on in what I am doing, continuing in breath, stopping each moment of frustration and letting it pass through me instead of activating triggers in me
 
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become frustrated when fixing the bicycle, as I have not done much of the maintenance on the bicycle before, so I do not know the connections, nor the movements needed in order to correctly maintain the bicycle, in this allowing myself to connect frustration to not knowing immediately how to fix something and make it work in my favour, and connect frustration to the little things that don't go as easily as planned, instead of breathing through each action that I make in fixing each part that needs fixing, staying here with myself in breath until fixing it is done and I have learned what must I must do to maintain the bicycle. In this I realize that the frustration only begets more frustration and in this I commit myself to not allowing myself to become so frustrated when I must maintain and fix bicycles committing myself to learning how to appropriately fix each bicycle and each bicycle part, while staying stable in myself in breath.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to accumulate frustration each time that I forget to do something, allowing myself to build up an accumulation of frustration and energy, through relating to each experience that I had previously within a day or a week of each time that I forgot to do something and had to retrace my steps creating frustration because I want myself to remember to do what I wanted to do when I was in the place that I was in, being `efficient` in managing my time through not having to backtrack, in this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to get frustrated each time I have to backtrack my steps because I have forgotten to do something while I was first there, and in this believing that there is something wrong with me for forgetting and thinking that I am wasting my time through the `needless` steps taken when I could have done the thing(s) that I have forgotten when I was first in the area, instead of breathing when I forget something and realize that I didn't necessarily forget it, and do the action that I forgot to do in breath, while breathing.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to get frustrated because I have to go through things that are harder then what they can be such as dealing with the system at work where it will not register my voice sometimes and I have to repeat myself until it registers my voice, when it `could` be easier for it to simply register my voice, and in this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not take responsibility for this point as the system is a system, and it is usually human error that does not make the system function properly, thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame the system at work and create a frustration for the system not `working properly` when in fact I am not working with the system properly, I didn’t use the system properly, in this I take the frustration back to myself and when and as the system at work doesn't register my voice, I repeat myself until it does not allowing frustration to exist and allowing the point of having to repeat myself to pass through me without triggering frustration and if I do become frustrated I breathe and let the frustration go, repeating myself until it picks up my voice and move on.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become frustrated when things don't go `my way`, in the way that I want them to go that only benefits myself and my own self-interest, instead of moving with/as myself in any situation and all situations standing equal and one to each and every situation within breath as the situation as myself as I am part of it, and in this do what is best for all within any given situation that I am placed in, not allowing myself to become frustrated because I didn't get `my way`, the way that I want the situation to turn out for the better of myself only

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not breathe through the frustration allowing it to pass through me while I stay stable, but to allow myself to become triggered within frustration and each time a trigger point comes up I allow more and more triggers to trigger me until I start to fire within myself with rage and anger with frustration towards all that is around me in my reality, firing myself up until the point where I am ready to explode onto anyone or anything and take out my frustration onto another in/as abuse or violence, instead of taking the frustration back here to myself in breath and move through each point of frustration, forgiving myself for becoming frustrated and not realizing that I still have myself and that I am still here, in this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to get frustrated over little things at work that tie up my time of working as my work is time based and if I do not hit a certain quota I have defined it as I will be in trouble, so in this I allow myself to get frustrated that there are things that hold up the time and in this project myself into a worse case scenario where I end up dying because things held up my time and thus money, in this fearing that I will not be here with myself any longer, not realizing that I am always here with me, that I cannot not be me in fact.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that frustration is absolutely worthless, and that there really is no point in frustrating myself over the little things, that it is much easier to breathe through the frustration, not allowing myself to become frustrated.

I commit myself to allowing the points that trigger frustration within me to move through me without me being triggered through breathing in the moment of the triggers and forgiving myself for what comes up, moving on in breath, directing myself within breath.

I commit myself to show how pointless frustration in fact is, and that it is easily overcome through the application of breath, self-honesty, self-forgiveness and writing

I commit myself to stopping all points of frustration and doing what needs to be done in breath, learning how to deal with it more effectively, and understanding that I am in fact learning and things aren't going to be perfect when/as learning

No comments:

Post a Comment