Day 68 - I'm Fine

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to look for the experience within myself that everything is ok wherein I start to believe that the disturbances that is the mind, that is myself within the mind have calmed down and that today is going to be ok,  not realizing that in the physical reality things are far from ok as shown through the daily news where reports of rape, murder, child abuse, and horrid crimes against life are happening daily.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fight with myself within the want to be ok with everything where I attempt to ignore and not face the fact that internally and externally I am not doing well in equality and oneness as the physical is being destroyed daily and the mind consciousness system runs out of control in this world, in this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to attempt the fight with myself over the want to experience myself as ok instead of facing the fact that I am quite fucked up in equality and oneness in regards to this existence - meaning that I am just as fucked as the world depicts.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that I am the living relations of the world as a whole and that I reflect the world as a whole and that the whole reflects me, and in this that everything is not ok in reality, but it is quite the opposite.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire to experience myself as being ok within stability within myself, and in this desire fight with the fact that I am not in fact stable within myself yet, and in this create a friction within myself creating energy in which I then become possessed by in the form of an anger and judgment unto myself for wanting to be stable yet not being stable, in this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not first accept myself as I am in this moment and from there work with myself into bearthing myself here in equality and oneness within living the principle of what is best for all, not allowing who I am right now to get in the way of bearthing myself here as equality and oneness as who I really am in fact

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fight with the mind in the definition of who I am, but in this only fighting with myself in self-honesty, trying to make myself believe I am something and through that make believe I attempt to create that experience of being ok, instead of facing who I am within the moment and realizing that every thing is not fine and that it is going to continue to get worse until the human makes the decision to stand equal and one to/as life and from there bearth life here in equality and oneness doing what is best for all life - until I make the choice to bearth myself here as life in absolution - meaning to become steadfast in my application of myself here in breath to bearth myself here as equality and oneness as who I am in fact.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to in this fighting with myself within the want to experience myself as `ok` create a delusional experience within myself where I make myself believe that I am ok which really is me not facing me in that moment because as I experience the ok-ness I have a plethora of thoughts running around within the mind as me which I avoid looking at because if I were to look at them it would immediately break down the belief of myself being ok in relation to stability

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not look at my physical application of myself here in this life as a cross reference of whether or not I am actually stable, using the points of eating a stable diet, of continuing a routine day in day out, of being stable in applying myself daily in the responsibilities that I have to do, as a cross reference point of my stability or instability.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that the news clearly shows that the human is unstable and being equal and one to/as the human as I am human means that things are not ok and that the ok-ness is only a delusional separation within the mind because it is possible for me to in a moment lose the job that I have and end up being homeless and not be `ok` any longer

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fall into the delusion of being ok which is only an experience within the mind that I have created within a desire to not have to go through what I put myself through when/as I normally participate in the mind, and a desire to not face myself as unstable and fucked up equal to all of humanity at this stage in existence

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that in breath and sticking to breath one is stable as breath is stable in all moments it is in and it is out and in and out in all moments of life on this earth, and in this that breath is really only the stability point within existence at this moment as the mind often fluctuates between happiness sadness, joy, depression etc, and in this it is quite unstable, in this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that breath is not an experience of okness, but an physical interaction equality and oneness as the breath in each moment requires all of existence to support it as breath supports all of existence

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to delude myself in making myself believe that I am ok when I am within the mind, in this not realizing that the only `ok-ness` would be in breath and self-direction in doing everything in ones power as equality and oneness to support this existence with each breath that one takes to make this life equal and one in fact throughout all of interactions and relationships in this world/existence/reality

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that ok ness would only be real if it were confirmed throughout existence where every being has everything that one needs to live provided unconditionally throughout their lifetime and where all life is in fact living in equality and oneness realizing that all life is equal and living the practical physical actions of what is best for all life

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fail to see that as long as we accept capitalism as the accepted method of the use of money that nothing will ever be ok in this world as capitalism is based on haves and have nots, and that only within an equal money system, as all other proposed solution to the issues that we face in this world still support capitalism, will there be any possibility of life being ok in relation to all life on this planet to live a dignified life with all needs unconditionally provided.

I commit myself to when and as I experience the experience of being ok to remind myself of the state that the world is in, realizing that nothing is ok right now and that we are creating the mass suicide of ourselves and in this I commit myself to support myself out of the delusion of believing that I am ok and living for my own experience, but to live for the well being of all life on this planet

I commit myself to show how the agreed implementation of the equal money system will support all life on this planet to life a dignified life through the agreement of humanity to make this life the best life possible and to stop living for their own experiences, but to live as life as breath in equality and oneness

I commit myself to stop living within experience and to live within breath within physicality in this stop living within delusion and illusion of the experience of myself, in this make the choice to breathe in physicality instead of walking into the experience and having to face the consequences and outflows of moving into the experience