Day 69 - I Just Want to Experience Life

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire to experience energy, emotions and feelings instead of being here within breath and breathing with myself as the physical

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that the experience that I create within the mind is only but an illusion and that this illusion, if given the belief that it is real, is able to really do detrimental damage to self and the physical as shown through our participation within the physical world, and as shown through the utter disregard that love light workers and spiritual workers have for the physically suffering beings here on Earth

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that I am in fact equal and one to love light workers and spiritual workers through looking for the desire to experience a form of positivity or to experience anything for that matter, and that I am in fact damaging myself equal and one through the desire to experience life instead of live life

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fail to see that to experience life will only last a moment and that this experience one is able to justify that at least I am happy and that I must do what I can do in this lifetime to make myself happy, never questioning at who's expense one is able to experience the experiences nor what the consequences are

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use the excuse that you only live for so long in this lifetime in order to experience what I call life when it is not life but only a delusional experience created by an illusory self that is believed to be thought, and in this excuse decide to not do anything about the amount of suffering that exists, to not do anything about the human condition but to in fact allow the suffering to continue, allow the extinction of the human race to continue unheeded, and in this be responsible for allowing the abuse to continue because of the desire to experience

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear boredom and in this fear of boredom go out and find something to experience to get a good feeling off of, instead of realizing that boredom is the manifestation for the desire to experience and in this not realizing that in boredom I in fact have the opportunity to be here with myself in breath unconditionally

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that as I desire to experience and as I chase after these experiences I miss the choice and opportunity to do something about this life and give the ability to have a dignified life to all life living here through giving up the desire to experience happiness or experience energy and to breathe here with myself here and find a solution to this mess and live the solution into the physical

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to chase after experiences, allowing myself to forever chase after myself through the belief that I am in experience, instead of giving myself the patience to be with myself here in breath investigating who I am in self-honesty, investigating how I create the experiences, what the consequences of the experiences are, how I am able to have the experiences and question if the experiences are able to be experienced by everyone on earth and if not why

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that if I live out my desire to experience for the rest of my life that I have only then lived a life of desire and that I have never in fact lived me here as breath as life as who I really am, and that I have never in fact lived because I have not breathed, in this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that experiencing energy means to be alive, and that alive is a dose of energy through experiences, not realizing that life is within breath, that life is within the physical, not within the mental desires, that life is not an experience, that life is breath

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that if I live my life out as desire that this world continues on in the same way that it has been existing - in suffering - without any chance to stop it because as I search for the experiences I am in fact missing what is really here as the suffering, as the abuse, as the hell that is called life that lives here.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to escape the hell that is here through living in experience - ignoring the abuse that goes on and justifying the abuse that goes on through the belief that I am only me and I must look out for me and that I must live the best life possible and experience my highest form of joy - not realizing that the highest experience of joy is heavily dependent on money.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use the tool of money for self-interest to experience life, while many suffer in life, and that I am only able to experience this life within experience because I live in a society that is part of the elite because I have flushing toilets, I have drinkable water, - that I am able to experience life in experience only because  I have money, and in this to not realize that if I were to place myself in a position of poverty that my experience would not be attainable because my life would be filled with suffering and starvation while others on the other side of the world live in a bubble of experience due to money

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that to live in experience is in fact accepting and allowing the abuse in this world to continue and that living in the experiences I am in fact giving permission for the abuse to continue in this world as I run off in search for experience not doing anything about the suffering in the world

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to addict myself to experience through allowing the experience to control my actions and willingly give my direction of myself to the desire to experience life, in this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that I have the choice to continue the addiction or to not through choosing to experience or to breathe, and in this realize that just like any addiction there will be withdrawal symptoms that will test me in where I stand in relation to the choice to experience or to live

I commit myself to let go of the desire to experience using patience with myself here, slowing myself down in breath and being here with myself in breath, stopping the constant rush of thoughts, energy, and experience that I have allowed to exist within the mind as me, and to place myself in breath slowing myself down to be here with myself in each breath

I commit myself to stand equal and one to the desire to experience in every way meaning to see everything about the desire to experience through standing equal and one as it, and in this show myself what I have in fact been living within and as and showing myself the manifested outcomes of the desire to experience

I commit myself to apply myself in breath the best that I can and in this develop my best further and further until I stand here equal and one with myself in breath as life in this stand equal and one as life

I commit myself to show how the experience of life is not real, and that it only lasts for a fleeting moment where one is left with the desire for more, showing that it is not real because it does not last, it is not substantial - it is not of substance - wherein breath here in every moment is constant and stable - showing that breathing is real living as one is not able to experience without breath.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire to experience energy, emotions and feelings instead of being here within breath and breathing with myself as the physical

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that the experience that I create within the mind is only but an illusion and that this illusion, if given the belief that it is real, is able to really do detrimental damage to self and the physical as shown through our participation within the physical world, and as shown through the utter disregard that love light workers and spiritual workers have for the physically suffering beings here on Earth

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that I am in fact equal and one to love light workers and spiritual workers through looking for the desire to experience a form of positivity or to experience anything for that matter, and that I am in fact damaging myself equal and one through the desire to experience life as energy instead of live life

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fail to see that to experience life will only last a moment and that this experience one is able to justify that at least I am happy and that I must do what I can do in this lifetime to make myself happy, never questioning at who's expense one is able to experience the experiences nor what the consequences are

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use the excuse that you only live for so long in this lifetime in order to experience what I call life when it is not life but only a delusional experience created by an illusory self that is believed to be thought, and in this excuse decide to not do anything about the amount of suffering that exists, to not do anything about the human condition but to in fact allow the suffering to continue, allow the extinction of the human race to continue unheeded, and in this be responsible for allowing the abuse to continue because of the desire to experience

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear boredom and in this fear of boredom go out and find something to experience to get a good feeling off of, instead of realizing that boredom is the manifestation for the desire to experience and in this not realizing that in boredom I in fact have the opportunity to be here with myself in breath unconditionally

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that as I desire to experience and as I chase after these experiences I miss the choice and opportunity to do something about this life and give the ability to have a dignified life to all life living here through giving up the desire to experience happiness or experience energy and to breathe here with myself here and find a solution to this mess and live the solution into the physical

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to chase after experiences, allowing myself to forever chase after myself through the belief that I am in experience, instead of giving myself the patience to be with myself here in breath investigating who I am in self-honesty, investigating how I create the experiences, what the consequences of the experiences are, how I am able to have the experiences and question if the experiences are able to be experienced by everyone on earth and if not why

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that if I live out my desire to experience for the rest of my life that I have only then lived a life of desire and that I have never in fact lived me here as breath as life as who I really am, and that I have never in fact lived because I have not breathed, in this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that experiencing energy means to be alive, and that alive is a dose of energy through experiences, not realizing that life is within breath, that life is within the physical, not within the mental desires, that life is not an experience, that life is breath

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that if I live my life out as desire that this world continues the on in the same way that it has been existing - in suffering - without any chance to stop it because as I search for the experiences I am in fact missing what is really here as the suffering, as the abuse, as the hell that is called life that lives here.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to escape the hell that is here through living in experience - ignoring the abuse that goes on and justifying the abuse that goes on through the belief that I am only me and I must look out for me and that I must live the best life possible and experience my highest form of joy - not realizing that the highest experience of joy is heavily dependent on money.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use the tool of money for self-interest to experience life, while many suffer in life, and that I am only able to experience this life within experience because I live in a society that is part of the elite because I have flushing toilets, I have drinkable water, - that I am able to experience life in experience only because I have money, and in this to not realize that if I were to place myself in a position of poverty that my experience would not be possible because my life would be filled with suffering and starvation while others on the other side of the world live in a bubble of experience due to money

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that to live in experience is in fact accepting and allowing the abuse in this world to continue and that living in the experiences I am in fact giving permission for the abuse to continue in this world as I run off in search for experience

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to addict myself to experience through allowing the experience to control my actions and willingly give my direction of myself to the desire to experience life, in this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that I have the choice to continue the addiction or to not through choosing to experience or to breathe, and in this realize that just like any addiction there will be withdrawal symptoms that will test me in where I stand in relation to the choice to experience or to live

I commit myself to let go of the desire to experience using patience with myself here, slowing myself down in breath and being here with myself in breath, stopping the constant rush of thoughts, energy, and experience that I have allowed to exist within the mind as me, and to place myself in breath slowing myself down to be here with myself in each breath

I commit myself to stand equal and one to the desire to experience in every way meaning to see everything about the desire to experience through standing equal and one as it, and in this show myself what I have in fact been living within and as and showing myself the manifested outcomes of the desire to experience

I commit myself to apply myself in breath the best that I can and in this develop my best further and further until I stand here equal and one with myself in breath as life in this stand equal and one as life

I commit myself to show how the experience of life is not real, and that it only lasts for a fleeting moment where one is left with the desire for more, showing that it is not real because it does not last, it is not substantial - it is not of substance - wherein breath here in every moment is constant and stable - showing that breathing is real living as one is not able to experience without breath.