Sunday, June 24, 2012

Day 72 - The Decision to Let go Of this Life


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fail to see that I must let go of my pre-programmed self through the forgiveness

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold onto the pre-programmed life because it is all I have ever known and all I have defined myself as, even though I find daily that I do not like the way I have created myself in relation to myself and others

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear to let go of the pre-programmed life because I will then have to become nothing or realize that I am in fact nothing, face that I am nothing, and that I will have to become a blank slate and re-start life, in this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear starting life over even though it is obvious that a  fresh start to living where the relationships are created are within equality and oneness is what is best for all

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold onto the relationship that I have created with myself because that is all I have ever known myself to be, because that is all I have ever thought myself to be, not realizing that I am limiting myself through the belief and thought of who I am in relation to myself and others, and that I am not in fact a thought or belief, I am

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fail to see that the relationship that I have created with myself is not what is best for me as I am not standing in equality and oneness to myself in every breath, I am not standing as the directive principle with myself in doing what is best for myself as life, and that this relationship is an issue then if I am not standing equal and one with myself in all ways, an issue from the perspective of the question `who am I` if I am not equal and one with myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to  fear changing the relationship I have created with myself because I must then restart my whole self, and in this restarting I must give up all that I have come to define myself as and let go of all the interactions that I have created as the relationship with myself, in this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that it is best for me to redefine the relationship with myself in equality and oneness because the relationship with myself right now is quite abusive and destructive in nature, and that it is best for me to redevelop myself in equality and oneness as who I am in fact

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold off on making the decision to let go of the life that I have created for myself that is not within equality and oneness due to fears and beliefs of who I am in relation to myself, in this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to then not investigate myself in relation to who I really am in relation to myself and how things work and in this `how things work` realize myself in how I have in fact created myself and defined myself in relation to myself and in this stand equal and one to the creation process of myself, forgive myself for creating myself in less than equality and oneness and rebearth myself in realizing who I really am in relation to myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold onto the nature of myself shown through the thought process that I still allow within myself, through the backchats that still come up without question and in this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to accept myself blindly instead of question my relationship that I have created with myself and to question whether or not they are in fact what is best for me

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blindly accept the relationship I have created with myself as who I am in regards to life, to myself as life, to myself as thoughts, to myself as everything, instead of questioning how this reality in fact functions and see in fact what my relationship actually is within this world to everything that is here, and in this seeing the relationship see whether it is in support of all life equally, and if not then redefine and live the redefinition of equality and oneness and living what is best for all

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to continue thought processes because of the fear of letting go of the life that I have created for myself, fear of changing my personality, fear of letting go of the personality, and in this continuing thought processes allow the abusive relationship with myself to continue on without question or change because of the fear of stopping and becoming life

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that this decision of whether or not to continue the life that I am leading is solely up to me, that this decision is not going to be made for me nor lived out for me and that I am literally going to have to stop myself in every moment, giving myself the will to stop myself in the mind every moment and bearth myself here as life in breath in every moment, and in this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fail to see that this decision is to stop myself as the abusive relationship I have created as myself and to stop the belief of being a victim to the thought processes, and to take responsibility for who I have created myself as in the relationship with myself and in this responsibility stand equal and one to myself in all ways and change the relationship with myself to equality and oneness with myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that I must put in the effort to stop myself in each moment and to calm myself down in each moment, and in moments where I am not in breath it is my responsibility to investigate myself to understand where I in fact separated myself from here and how I accepted myself to separate myself from myself and in this to forgive myself for separating myself from myself here and bring myself back to myself here in breath

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear stopping when looking at the entirety of my life and my world and to find out how to in fact stop myself in all moments and bring myself back here in breath in this not even allow myself to investigate how to stop myself within the mind as I go about the daily activities and apply myself in stopping myself within the mind, stopping myself from separating myself from myself here within breath, in this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not simply take it breath by breath and move myself breath by breath, stopping the projection into the entirety of reality and in this stopping the relationship I have created with myself of fear of myself, and in taking it breath by breath be here with myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that breath by breath is simple and that I am in fact breathing all the time, and in this believe that I am not able to be in breath all the time because of points like biking to work, or working in itself where I believe that I cannot be in breath and that I must be in the mind thinking in order to direct myself within the activity of biking or working, not realizing that even while I am in the mind I am still breathing here and that in this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that I do not need to be sitting and calm in order to place myself in breath, but it is the will of myself in what I will accept and allow within myself and who I am within the points that I participate in.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that the relationship that I have created with myself is completely abusive and not in support of the life of myself, but only in support of the desires and wants manifested within the mind as energy, and shown throughout the world this relationship we have created with ourselves has been extremely detrimental to all life in existence, and in this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear changing instead of pushing myself through the fear because it absolutely must be done = the change into equality and oneness, because this treatment of ourselves as life is absolutely unacceptable.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold onto the relationship that I have created with myself so that  can experience life, so that I can choose to live within desire and want and in this not stand equal and one to myself as the relationship of myself and in this standing equal and one, see all that I am accepting and allowing as myself see the consequences of that which I accept and allow within myself and in that seeing; decide to live in equality and oneness living what is best for all or to continue on the path of self-destruction

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that any moment where I am not in breath, I am not standing equal and one to myself as life in breath as life as the breath, and that I have separated myself from myself in relation to that which I am thinking about, and that each point that I have separated myself from myself as life in breath is abusive as I am then not life in that moment and thus I am within the mind as energy as desire as want and that I am not standing equal and one to myself here as life, but within a want or an energy shown through the participation in the mind

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe and think that this life that I have been living as me is magically going to slip from my fingers and that I am then miraculously going to start living in equality and oneness, not realizing, nor taking the responsibility needed to bearth myself here in breath in each moment of existence as myself in breath.

I realize that I have created this relationship of abuse with myself over time and that it is going to take time will and effort on my part to change this relationship towards myself into equality and oneness and live what is best for all in every moment

I commit myself to stop and change the relationship with myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become and in this to recreate myself in equality and oneness with myself where I stand equal and one to myself in every action in self-awareness in breath

I commit myself to taking the responsibility for creating myself in this life and in this take responsibility for the abuse that I have accepted myself to live within and as and to stop this relationship of abuse and to live a life in equality and oneness with myself and in relation to myself in every moment, and to physically live what is best for all in all moments, in this I commit myself to letting go of the relationship I have created with myself and to restart my life over wherein the relationship with myself is based in equality and oneness through realizing myself in who I really am in relation to myself
 
I commit myself to over time completely let go of the relationship I have created with myself and in this time to commit and dedicate myself to myself in breath in equality and oneness and to investigate myself in self-honesty in the points where I have separated myself from myself here in breath and to in this time give myself the effort and will to forgive these points where I have separated myself from myself here in breath and to bring myself back here to myself in breath in physicality.


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