Wednesday, June 27, 2012

Day 75 - Making and Staying on Routine In regards to Diabetes


I forgive myself that I have accepted ad allowed myself to not realize that staying on routine at all times is pertinent to taking effective care of self as a diabetic

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that if I allow myself to sleep in then I am able to miss the morning injection of insulin which will heavily compromise the blood sugar during the day because the morning injection of the long lasting insulin is the base rate for the day and that if I miss it I am liable to run high blood sugars for most of the day and will have to find a different solution to this problem of missing the scheduled base rate injection

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want the `me` time where I allow myself to indulge in that which I want to do such as being a couch potato or eating foods that are sweet or sugary not realize that the `me` time that I am allowing myself to do into is heavily abusive towards life as shown through the blood sugar readings, and in this `me` time not sticking to the schedule that is laid out which is best for the body as a diabetic

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that I have to give up `my` life wherein I participate in self-interest and do the things that I desire in life in order to support the body and that I have to re-adjust my entire living patterns into a pattern that is best for the body in regards to diabetes and keeping the blood sugars where they need to be and being able to follow a routine of eating habits and injection habits.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to on weekends break the routine of support for myself wherein I allow myself to live within the self-interested points of being a couch potato, of being lazy, of sleeping in, of eating sweets and sugary foods which are a complete abuse of the body and of life in relation to managing the body as a diabetic

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that the body breathes for us in every moment in order to allow us to live and that this `automation` is not without awareness of itself meaning that the breath is aware that it is breath, and is aware that it keeps us alive as life, and that it does not start to slack off in its responsibilities as breath on weekends in order to support it's own self-interested desire - if it did we would all die in one week, and that me allowing myself to `fuck off` on weekends in absolute abuse to life through in fact causing needless harm to the body and life through allowing myself to participate in self-interested actions on weekends or at all for that matter.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that I have to give much if not all of my `life` up to life in order to support myself as life, that I must give up my desires, my wants  in order to support life in creating the best life for me, in creating a routine and schedule that I am able to follow day in day out - just like the body works day in day out - that works the best for me as a diabetic and that works best for me as life - supporting life in all ways always due to being a diabetic.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not use the opportunity as a diabetic to support myself here as life in living and living the best life that is possible to live in relation to being a diabetic - in this creating myself as a system that supports life not matter what goes on, no matter what struggles one faces, no matter what emotions come up, no matter in what desire arises, I always live within the system as myself that supports what is best for life in all ways within being a diabetic, in this not limiting only my dedication to life as a diabetic but dedicating my life to life as what is existing in this world

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into moments of depression, anger, sadness where I allow myself to stop living the routine that is best for me as life as a diabetic, and allow myself to exist in self interest where I allow myself to gorge and indulge in foods that are not supportive of myself as a diabetic in this not supportive of myself as life as I am in fact damaging myself as life through allowing myself to go into moments of depression where I gorge.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not commit myself absolutely to a schedule that benefits me as a diabetic due to the nature of self-interest where I only look out for my own happiness and positivity and ignore the consequences of the actions that I participate in while in self-interest - the consequences of high blood sugar - of high doses of insulin - in this ignoring the long term consequences that this abuse will lead to

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that the body makes this commitment to stick to a systematic process that is best for the body such as the blood circulating nutrients equally throughout the body and that I as a diabetic must stand in the place of the pancreas and make this commitment to stand in place for the pancreas and take responsibility for myself as life as a diabetic and in this make this life the best possible life equal and one.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not stand with the body in equality and oneness and do my part as a diabetic in order to manage the blood sugars the best in this managing my life the best possible, standing in agreement and in trust with myself as life trusting myself to do what is best for myself as life in all ways always

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that supporting the body in routine is not only managing blood sugars and insulin injection but the food that I eat and the times that I eat the food, creating a schedule where I know how much insulin to do and when to do it in which the blood sugar stays between 4 and 8 mmol/l as the body has done for me before I was diagnosed with diabetes due to physically manifested consequences

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that I am standing equal and one to all the hell that exists on this earth, all the deforestation as the rape of resources of on this earth, all the desertification of this Earth, the purposeful allowance of starvation in a world of plenty, murder, war etc when I allow myself to move into the point of self-interest, and allow myself to abuse the body through living in self interest allowing myself to abuse the resources of the body and rape the resource of water in the body through allowing myself to go high in blood sugar through the acts of self-interest wherein the body uses all the water possible to flush out the extra sugar in the body

I commit myself to living a life that is in support of myself as a diabetic and in this in support of life in making the best life possible in establishing and developing a routine and keeping that routine that supports allowing the blood sugar to stay between 4 and 8 and where I do not need to inject massive amounts of insulin to correct the carbohydrates/sugars that I eat creating a living process that is not abusive but supportive of life

I commit myself to when and as I find myself breaking the routine and where I frequently break the routine such as on weekends to stop and breathe and realize what I am in fact accepting and allowing myself to participate in as the abuse of life and in this stop the abuse of myself as life and in this to stand up immediately when I find that I have broken the routine

I commit myself to stand as support for all diabetics in moving myself out of my self-interested living, committing myself to myself as life and not myself as desire.


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