Wednesday, July 25, 2012

Day 103 - Masturbation Character


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to cut off all ties from reality when the urge to masturbate is stimulated within me from a picture, a word, a thought, and go into the illusory fantasies that I have created within the mind regarding sex and forget all about the physical reality and what is going on in this world - all so that I can enjoy the illusion of what I am creating as the fantasies without the impediment of reality

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not care about anything other than getting the energetical stimulation within masturbation while I am within the illusion of the fantasies that I am creating within the mind in relation to sex and masturbation - not caring about what is going on around me, not caring or seeing that this world is in a state of chaos and growing worse by the day, and not deciding to do anything about it through allowing myself to keep and hold onto the illusion that I've created within the mind when I have the urge to masturbate

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to care more about my own satisfaction within pleasure within masturbation than a child going to bed hungry

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ignore the fact that there are billions living below the bread line on this planet while this planet is plentiful with food and nutrients to support all life living here at the moment - but it is only our actions within this world that allow billions to starve - so that I can move into the illusion where I please myself within the pleasure of the fantasy world I have created within images, thoughts, memories, ideas, beliefs, revolving around sex and masturbation

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from the child that goes to bed hungry through allowing myself to live within and keep the illusion of the fantasies of thoughts, pictures, ideas, beliefs, definitions revolving around sex and sexuality - where the mind pictures are only an illusion and thus not real while the child's pain of going to bed hungry is absolutely real and within the physical reality and cannot be denied - while the illusion is just an illusion and is able to not exist within the simple moment of inhaling with the physical here

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to  ignore and separate myself from this physical reality where billions starve, where we as humanity are living like a parasite on this Earth that is slowly killing its host and to separate myself from living a solution - through allowing myself to participate within being a parasite on this earth as I abuse the body that has allowed me to live in this physical reality through allowing myself to masturbate extensively and without support for myself within the sex system - to masturbate using images and the fantasies within the mind - instead of masturbating with myself as an expression of myself within the physical reality equal and one

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to allow the thought of desiring to have sex/masturbate to guide me within the moments as I accept it as me - in this causing/allowing myself to create and indulge within the illusory fantasies within the mind and to ignore what is going on around me as life and to ignore myself as life - defining myself only by the desire to have sex/masturbate in that moment - limiting myself extensively as who I really am within equality and oneness through allowing myself to exist within the energetical stimulation within the mind in the form of sexualize images, words, definitions, ideas, and beliefs.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to indulge within the fantasies within the mind within sex and masturbation instead forgiving the fantasies - forgiving myself within the fantasies and let them go an disappear as the are only an illusion - and to in this stop using fantasies and in this express myself within masturbation/sex within the physical reality - with myself here within breath - and to in this learn firstly how to be here with myself within sex and sexuality as all I have ever been within sex and masturbation has all been an illusion

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear stepping out of this illusion that I have created for myself within sex and masturbation within the mind because it is all I've ever known to be me - in this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not walk myself into the fear and through the  fear and let go of the illusion that I have been existing within/as in regards to the images pictures and definitions around sex and express myself here equal and one with myself in sex/sexuality/masturbation

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ignore the responsibilities  and that I have within the day in order to maintain the illusions, pictures, fantasies, memories within/as sex/masturbation so that I am not impeded upon by reality and allow the responsibilities to slip further and further away from me until I build up a resistance to taking responsibility as myself here as life and work and apply myself to birthing myself here as life

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to search for an experience in this life that I am have defined enjoyment within and allow myself to live within that because of the reality that I do not like this life that I am living so within living within the point of masturbation and desire within the illusions created within the mind I am able to ignore for as long as possible - how I experience this life - through blinding myself with the experience of sex and masturbation and the `rush` that comes from tat experience - instead of making this life a life that I enjoy living through stopping the illusions within the mind and applying myself within the physical reality to physically create a life where life that I enjoy living - where I as life and the value of myself within my direction - and not value as  an illusion of fantasy and definitions and words within the mind where life is not considered - only the experience of the energy and illusion

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from the physical application of myself within the physical reality through allowing myself to - throughout time - develop a plethora of fantasies, definitions, images, thoughts, words, ideas based on sex and keep this data base within the mind so that whenever I am facing a point that I do not want to look at or am experience myself in a way that I dislike, I can go into that data base and separate myself from the physical reality and escape for a bit - and in this, over time - cause myself to be an ineffective participant within the physical reality through being dependent on the mind and the illusions within the mind to survive within this world

I commit myself to showing how the sex and masturbation systems that we have come to accept and allow are absolutely abusive towards life and how - if in constant or frequent use - one becomes absolutely separated from the physical reality and becomes an ineffective participant in the physical reality and this an ineffective participant in/as life here within the physical reality within breath through the reliance on the mind to guide one's self throughout this time space reality


I commit myself to when and as I start to go into the data base of memories, ideas, pictures, beliefs, and separate myself from the physical reality to in that moment take a deep breath and face the physical reality and my experience of myself within the physical reality and walk myself within the physical reality within the physical movements that is necessary and to let go of the fantasy that I was about to walk into and to, in breath, keep myself here in awareness of myself and what I am participating in

I commit myself to delete the memories, fantasies, definitions, pictures etc, that exist within the mind as me and to stop creating and living the memories/ideas based within an illusion of what sex is and to walk myself in the physical in learning how to effectively express myself within masturbation and sex without the illusions within the mind

I commit myself to learning and developing a healthy sexual expression - healthy being one where it is based on the physical need of sex/masturbation and not the desire/want to have sex or to masturbate and to in this live a healthy sex life where I commit myself to living self respect within/as myself as life living here within the physical reality and not within an illusion I have created within the mind

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