I often go through
this experience when I have low blood sugar. I feel completely fatigued when I
go low so anything that is physical seems much more then what it is - I can go
through this experience when writing or when sitting in a chair - I only want
to do nothing, lie down and wait until the body has it's energy back, and
sometimes to not even eat - I just want to vegetate within the feeling of
fatigue. Everything seems hard when I am low, and I will quickly give up on a
lot of things if I allow this experience to direct me. As well this experience
can drag on through accepting the memory of going low to direct myself, where I
repeat the fatigue and exhaustion I feel when I am low through repeating the
memory over within the mind - causing the experience to be that much greater.
This experience can sabotage me from applying myself here through the emotions
of anger and frustration arising within me at the time of going low and where I
will then give up on anything that I am doing within that moment because of the
experience of it being too hard.
I forgive myself
that I have accepted and allowed myself to create the experience of any
physical action or movement being too difficult for me to participate in
because of the feeling of fatigue through going low accepting and allowing
anger and frustration to accompany the fatigue because in the moment of feeling
fatigue it becomes difficult to continue to move the body and I quickly go into
the want to just say `fuck this I am not doing this, fuck you, fuck it, I'm not
doing it` because I still have to be here within the physical and it has become
much more difficult for me to be here within the physical due to the fatigue I
feel because of having low blood sugar - in this I realize that the fatigue is
real but the experience of anger and frustration and the `fucks` are all
created/made up in relation to the fatigue
I forgive myself
that I have accepted and allowed myself to become angry and frustrated at the
fact that I have to deal with a limitation of hypoglycemia, a limitation that
causes me to be fatigued in a reality where physical work is necessary as all
things are physical, and in this frustration at the limitation of becoming
hypoglycemic go into an experience of wanting to give up and saying fuck it to
anything that requires me to move due to having to move myself within/as the
fatigue, causing myself to not participate fully within the physical with
myself in equality and oneness but to participate within the experience of
anger and frustration making the experience of myself one of discontent
I forgive myself
that I have accepted and allowed myself to recreate the experience of anger and frustration through going through the memories of when I have been hypoglycemic
and had to stop everything to eat something or where I had to continue to move
myself within the physical while being fatigued and to allow this experience of
anger and frustration to continue on even while I am no longer fatigued by
repeating the memory - causing myself to participate with anger and frustration
and apathy because I have to continue to move within the physical when feeling
fatigued and if I have to go through this experience of the movements being
difficult then fuck everything else - not realizing that I am in fact only
making the movements harder then what they are through creating the experience
of the anger and frustration that takes a toll on the body at the same time
I forgive myself
that I have accepted and allowed myself to add an experience of anger and
frustration onto being fatigued causing the movements to be more difficult
through having the emotions run through me while I am within the physical - not
allowing myself to be here with myself directing myself within the physical but
allowing the self created limitation of anger and frustration to direct me
I forgive myself
that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that I am still able to
do what is best for all within limitation within being hypoglycemic and that
fatigue is not the end of the world - it will only last for but a moment, but
to create an energetic experience in relation to the fatigue where I allow
myself to become angry and frustrated is not worth the time and effort within
being fatigued.
I forgive myself
that I have accepted and allowed myself to give up when thing get hard instead
of pushing through the hard parts without any emotions or with as little of
emotion I can control to continue to apply myself within living what is best
for all in all moments, not allowing one point of being fatigued to determine
who I will be in relation to doing what is best for all
I forgive myself
that I have accepted and allowed myself to want and expect life to be easy without any trials or tribulations, where I can just coast through life, in
this causing myself to go into an emotional experience of frustration and anger
when things become more difficult than I had anticipated, not allowing myself
to understand the situation that I am within and to direct myself within what
is best for all within the situation, but to allow the frustration and anger
accumulate to a point of wanting to give up and sometimes giving up because I
experience it to be too difficult
I forgive myself
that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that by moving within/as
the anger and frustration I had created to being fatigued I am thus then moving
myself out of anger and frustration within all that I participate within/as causing
everything to seem more difficult because I am moving out of anger and
frustration which does not make the situation easier for me, it only makes
things more difficult because I move faster and quicker to attempt to get
myself out of the experience quicker, not realizing that by moving faster and
quicker I am making more `mistakes` in my actions causing the experience of
anger and frustration due to thing being difficult accumulate further and
further until I create a mental breakdown for myself.
I forgive myself
that I have accepted and allowed myself to decide to give up when the
experience of doing anything becomes too hard - not allowing myself to push
myself past my own limitations of the belief that things are too hard, but to
allow that experience to direct me and control me, not allowing myself to
simply be here within the physical and direct myself within the physical with
and without limitations
I forgive myself
that I have accepted and allowed myself
to become angry and frustrated at the fact that I am able to go hypoglycemic
which causes me to be fatigued due to a lack of energy within the body -
allowing myself to become angry at the limitations that I have within the
physical causing myself to move into the experience of anger and frustration
instead of moving equal and one within/as the limitations and continuing to
support myself as life and to support life despite being limited within fatigue
or be it any other limitation
I forgive myself
that I have accepted and allowed myself to not direct myself after I have
corrected the low - direct myself within breath within the physical, where I
allow myself to breathe and in breath direct myself, but to allow myself to
continue within the experience of anger and frustration which causes me to
limit myself further within the physical, and cause myself to not see clearly
because I am looking at my actions through a veil of anger and frustration,
where every little thing that goes `wrong` is a mountain that build the anger
and frustration
I forgive myself
that I have accepted and allowed myself to not breathe while I correct the low,
taking things slower as I direct myself here due to the fatigue and walking
myself here within breath, directing myself within what is best for me as life
- stopping any experience of anger and frustration from arising due to the
perception of difficulty due to limitations
I forgive myself
that I have accepted and allowed myself to sabotage myself from living what is
best for all through allowing the experience of anger and frustration to
accumulate, making the task seem
difficult, and cause myself to go into a reaction of wanting to give up
and not continue with pushing myself within the activity because of the anger
and frustration and the belief that the task is too difficult for me to
continue.
I forgive myself
that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that things that are
perceived as difficult only take more breaths to get done and that anger and
frustration are absolutely unnecessary, and that anger and frustration does not
make doing the task any easier - it in fact makes it more difficult, and that
within breath I am able to keep myself clear and continue to direct myself
within what needs to be done within the physical actions despite any
limitations and that within breath I do not allow limitations to hinder me any
further than the limitations themselves , but I stand equal and one with the
limitations and am able to continue to
live what is best for all.
I forgive myself
that I have accepted and allowed myself to not give myself the patience when
things get `tough` or `difficult` or simply do not go my way, and re-assess the
situation that I am participating in, re-assess myself in my starting point and
my application and try again and keep at it, pushing myself to get it done and
to walk myself into the result that I would like for myself and all others in
this world equal and one
I commit myself to
giving myself the patience and breath necessary to complete a task effectively
and efficiently, stopping myself from going into the reaction of it being too
hard because of failed attempts or because of limitation and to continue to apply
myself within the task until it is done
I commit myself to
stopping the reaction of going into the experience of `too hard`, by
maintaining myself within breath and direction within/as any task that I set
out to complete - pushing myself to move within/as any limitation that I have
of/within/as myself to get the task done anyways
I commit myself to
giving myself to patience needed to complete a task without going into the
experience of it being too hard - using patience to slow myself down and to
walk and work with what is here as myself to get the task done properly
I commit myself to
stopping the desire for time to move quickly and for myself to move quickly
within getting an assignment done immediately or on a first attempt, and to
move within breath within the slowness of breath and within patience within the
slowness of breath - directing myself within what is here to get the task done
- stopping myself from directing myself from the desired outcome
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