Tuesday, July 3, 2012

Day 81 - The Characterization of Myself - Intro


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to change myself in who I accept and allow myself to be around person to person for the purpose of being accepted and liked within a group of certain specific people or persons where I become a illusory character through and as the words that I speak the physical communication I participate in, the actions I do and do not do, that are all based on a single thought of who I must be around certain specific people.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to characterize myself in specific environments of who I will accept myself to be within/as the environment all for the purpose of surviving in this world, where I allow myself to become the character and forever limit myself to being the character in that specific environment where all my words actions and deeds are all within the confines of what I have defined this character as myself to be, in this accepting and allowing myself to create a false sense of self where I literally make myself believe that I am this certain specific character in this environment in this situation, making up the experiences of myself through and as the character that I have told myself to be, in this living a false life because all that is me as me in that moment of characterization is all made up from consequential thoughts

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed a world where we accept and allow the characterization of everyone in this world, where in each moment of each day we define and confine ourselves within limitation due to a belief of this is how I must characterize myself this day in this environment in this situation and in that one single moment create all the experiences that we are going to have as that character and throughout the day - not in fact living a life of life, but `living` a made up life that is only but an illusion created through beliefs of who self in within the act of thinking and participation in the mind

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not accept and manifest a world where life is lived as breath in each moment of each day, where life is in fact life, where everyone and thing in this existence breathes life into and as themselves in each moment and in the act of being here with breath birth ourselves here as life as who we really are committing ourselves to become life and accept nothing less than life as who we really are and in this deal with everything that exists as this reality as life instead of dealing with everything in this reality as an attempt to further fuel the characterization of self

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that it only takes one moment of thought to bring up all the past memories of self in who self created self to be based on an image within the mind, and that with one simple thought be become a slave to ourselves due to becoming and living as this character that we have developed within the mind instead of staying here in breath as life

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become blind to how we as humans are actually living as only characters of who we think we are based on definitions and ideas of who we must be in certain conditions, environments, and situations, not seeing myself in this in how I am participating in this charade of a life, creating beLIEfs of who I am supposed to be or are going to be in specific moments, instead of being life in breath as who I really am, in this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the game of characterization where I become only a belief of who I am due to thoughts, in attempts to survive in this world with other people, wherein I inevitably accept other people living themselves within the characters that they have created within their minds where then we all believe that we are the main star of our movie and that all other people are but a character in our realities to support our characterization of ourselves and where I am only a character in other people's realities where they are the main star of their movie created reality

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear breaking out of character because I will then be immediately rejected by and as other people who have accepted me as a memory in their reality of the characterization I have become and lived as


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not give myself the courage to breathe past the fear of stepping out of character and breaking down my self-limitations that I have imposed on myself through accepting myself to characterize myself, in this to face the conflict that will arise due to not accepting anyone else's character through not accepting my own and in this allow myself to be life, to step out of character and into life so that I may in fact live as I have never lived in this life because this life has only been a made up character(s) that I have accepted and allowed myself to become.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not question who am I in this world and who am I being, does thought make me who I am, and if so why are there 2 of me within the mind? And does this make me life? What does it make me?, and in this simply and blindly accept myself as the mind in separation of myself where there are 2 or more `me's` within the mind that I can communicate to myself within and as

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not question why I act differently around different people and why I am not the same around all people as who I am equally in all moments in this to not question if all that I am `being` is real or only made up by myself through the act of thinking.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not move through the fear of stepping out of character and speak self honestly about whatever topic is there within the moment causing myself to forever be a slave to myself and a slave to fear because I decided to not push myself through the fear and to accept my limited existence of being a character - a pre-programmed design of myself that does not exist as life - that has all the responses already made up based on the character that I accept myself to be at the time, that has all the gestures, the words, the physical communications all set in place to move into on a thought all based in memory, shown through the disease of Alzheimer's where the person no longer remembers themselves and loved ones can no longer remember them because all of them was placed within a memory and lived over and over and over again as if it were real.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to accept all other's slavery to themselves through allowing myself to exist in character wherein I expect them to as well live in the character of who I have created them as within my memory and in this I forgive myself tat I have accepted and allowed myself to become a slave to memory and characterization through allowing my existence to be based on memory and characterization instead of exploring who I am without characterization through self-forgiveness and self honesty in writing out each character that I have become, equalizing myself to each character, understanding how I have created each character, trace back the memories where I keep the character existing and stop, in this stopping see who I really am and stop acting.
 
I commit myself to writing out each character that I have become and accepted myself as and apply self-forgiveness tracing back the memory from when the character came and forgive myself for enslaving myself to the memory, in this taking the time needed each day to make sure that I am effective in removing these characters that I have created myself as

I commit myself to push myself out of the fear of stepping out of character and to find out who I really am without character and in this to stop the fear of conflict when stepping out of character, dealing with the conflict in the best way which is within breathing

I commit myself to understanding in every dimension who I have become as the character(s) I have accepted myself to live as and in this walk the journey of stopping the characters and birthing myself here as life through breath and breathing where I move myself in this world with breath and not with thought.

I commit myself to standing one and equal with myself in all dimensions putting an end to the characterization of myself birthing myself here as life through forgiveness for becoming and enslaving myself to the characters I have become

I commit myself to push myself in stopping the characterization of myself, to push myself in breathing here, to push myself in the conflict - something that I resist and fear extensively - and to get myself out of this mess that is the multiple characters that I have created myself as and to stand here as life in breath and not a character within thought of who I am

I commit myself to when and as I find myself living a character to stop in that moment breathe and speak within breath, see who I am within speaking in that moment and to as well check the mind for any thoughts to check if I am creating another character or if I have simply reverted to another character and if so continue to practise living without characterizing myself.

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