Day 92 - The Slacker

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become a slacker

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to avoid taking responsibility for myself in this system and reality through becoming a slacker where I look for ways and excuses to get out of anything that involves me taking responsibility for myself so that I am able to do what I want instead of what must be done

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear taking responsibility for myself and in this fear to become the slacker where I decide to not take responsibility for myself here as life responsibility meaning taking care of myself as life in working, in cleaning up my reality, in understanding reality, in giving myself an education, in not allowing myself to party constantly, in allowing myself to create priorities and stick to doing them so that I am doing the best that I can to make this life a life worth living and in this to as well make all life a life worth living through taking responsibility for this Earth as it  exists due to my part within humanity and humanity as a whole and to in this create a life within equality and oneness.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to in the fear of taking responsibility for myself to allow others to take responsibility for me and to in this rely on their support within money, a house, food, clothing, water etc, in this not realizing that the result of this is a dependent person where one will become reliant on all others in this life to direct their life, instead of taking the self-directive responsibility and directing ones own life for self

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not consider to consequences of my actions when I decide to not be here and participate as an equal with what is here manifested on this Earth - meaning that as I slack off others will have to carry the load that I have abdicated my responsibility within

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that as I slack off others must pick up my work load and that I am thus abdicating my part in equal responsibility within this world and within this system

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that humans must become the custodians of the Earth and take care of the Earth fixing what we have destroyed and abused and that the slacker character is not relevant within life - life does not slack off for its own self-interest it is stable in is application of itself here as here

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that I must move through this system to understand this system as me and birth myself here as life and that slacking off in any way is only going to prolong my existence as the system as I as the slacker only support the system through not moving myself through it in equality and oneness and standing as life as breath in every moment within/as the system to transform and change myself as the system within the system into life

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to slack off when there is work to be done because of the simple thought of `I do not want to do this` which is like saying I do not want to be here and breathe as that is exactly what I did as I allowed myself to go into the mind and search for ways to avoid responsibility and exist within self-interest through watching a movie and creating a lie to support myself within self-interest instead of simply breathing and going through the actions of work and getting it done

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become the slacker character through the resistance towards actually applying myself in this world and the desire to explore the mind and the energy within the mind attempting to manifest the best feelings.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that the slacker character is damaging to life through not taking responsibility for life and thus is not life itself as life does not harm life - life supports life - and that in this I as a slacker allow the abuse to exist through not taking responsibility for myself within what is here as me and change it/myself into life

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to avoid my responsibility within what is here through accepting myself to ignore what is here and ignore my part within what is here, ignoring that I am equally responsible for what is here through living within it and as it becoming it and thus accepting it, and to in this avoid facing the reality of the situation through slacking off within the responsibilities that I have within/as the system and in this missing the opportunity to take responsibility for myself here within the system and birth myself as life as I walk within/as the system as me

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that slacking off is only because of the extensive amount of fear within me, fear of facing what I am responsible for, fear facing what this world and self has become, fear facing the work needed to correct myself within the mess that I have become as a multitude of characters - where I do not stand as one with myself but within separation of myself as the many characters I have become and live as

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the thought `I don't want to do this` control me in becoming a slacker where I look for ways and chances to avoid taking responsibility for myself here within the system where I do not have to do a damn thing but `vegetate` basically and where I am free to explore self-interest to its fullest extent

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to look for ways and chances in many moments where I am able to give into the thought of `just not wanting to do it` and to then explore self-interest instead of being here within breath and walking myself within/as the physical, breath by breath, until that which I did not want to do is done

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to avoid taking responsibility for myself here within and as the system that is here through becoming the slacker character where I avoid all the responsibility possible and separate myself from reality through moving into self-interest where I am able to ignore and avoid the reality of myself and this world where it becomes `easier` to avoid myself as who I have become

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that it is us who are responsible for the current state that the world is in because of the current state that we are in as all these characters and that as the slacker character I am only existing in fear of what I have become as the image and likeness of this world and attempt to avoid it through `slacking off` which is really indulgence in self-interest.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that we all must take responsibility for ourselves within this world through understanding who we have become as these characters of ourselves created through memories of who we are within a specific moment/event and to in this stop living as characters and birth ourselves here as life

I commit myself to investigating the slacker character deeper in how it is manifested within and as the entirety of the world system as not taking responsibility for self here in this world

I commit myself to standing equal and one with the slacker character through self-forgiveness of separating myself from myself as the character and to in this completely understand how I became the character and how it affects the entirety of the world system as I become it

I commit myself to when and as I find myself wanting to `slack off` and move into self-interest to breathe in that moment and stop the desire to experience the self-interest that I have placed as an idea within the mind and to re-direct myself within taking responsibility for myself here - no matter how much I want to avoid it.