Sunday, July 15, 2012

Day 93 - The Slacker pt 2



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to allow others to take responsibility for myself within this system that is here through becoming a slacker when responsibility is here before me in this not realizing that I am in fact creating myself as dependent and reliant on all others in this reality to guide myself in this life instead of taking responsibility for myself as life, investigating myself as life, finding out the direction that I want to take within this world and in this take responsibility for directing myself within that direction breath by breath where I consider all points within each moment of taking responsibility in how to best direct myself within responsibility so that the outcome is what is best for all in all ways and that I do not only consider myself within the point of taking responsibility as this world functions and operates within equality and that my actions and decision have an impact on all others within this reality - all others meaning that my actions span the globe and vice versa.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to place my self-interest as a priority over the state that the world exists as and in this to place self-interest above taking responsibility for myself as a participant in this world that keeps the state that the world exists in through my participation within it, in this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to accept and allow abuse through allowing myself to slack off within reality where I do not take responsibility for my actions within this world and within my reality, in this not taking responsibility for my part within this world system and correct it, allowing abuse to continue and exponentially expand due to not taking responsibility for myself within/as the world system as myself realizing myself as life and living myself as life within what is best for all life bringing about what is best for all life

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that through allowing others to take responsibility for myself I am in fact abdicating myself as life to others allowing myself to not be life, allowing myself to not realize myself as life, because as I abdicate myself as life to others to guide me within this world I am in fact accepting and allowing the world system to guide me in the image and likeness of/as the world system in this becoming the world system in fact without question though the abdication of myself as life and the abdication of self directive responsibility

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that through living within this world I am inheritantly responsible for what this world is through my acceptance of myself within this world, and that in this I am equally responsible for the abuse, destruction, maiming of life that is existent within this world system as it currently exists and that with me being here within this world my actions stand equal to that which is shown within this entire world though/as the interconnectedness that life in fact exists within which is equality and oneness - through my participation within money I am responsible for all that has to due within money which spans the entire globe

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fail to see that through slacking off I am giving up myself as life to the want and desire to experience my self-interest and in this I am in fact giving up my awareness of myself as life through giving into a thought and desire that exists within the mind which is not based on life but only base on self-interest shown through the existence of ourselves within the mind and if we exist within the mind that all that we do comes from the mind and this world system shows who we are within the mind - showing us that we are not life within the mind through allowing the destruction abuse and harm of life that exists daily

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that me slacking off does not lead to a solution to the fear of myself taking responsibility for myself and that only through pushing myself within the fear will I find the solution to myself within the fear of taking responsibility for myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect fear to responsibility within any form or manifestation in this world - meaning responsibility within work, or within school or within anything that I have associated responsibility within, in this fearing applying myself within the responsibility

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear losing `my time` - the time where I participate in hobbies and the things that I want to do - through having to take responsibility and within this each time I have to take responsibility for myself to go into that fear of losing `my time` and to in this resist taking responsibility for myself and to then go into self-interest and do the things that I want to do instead of taking responsibility for myself within this world to create myself within equality and oneness and to stand and live the principle of what is best for all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become irresponsible within my actions through living as a slacker where I do not look at the consequences of my actions when attempting to avoid taking responsibility for myself, and in this to come up with lies and justifications for my participation within my actions of self-interest when becoming the slacker

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear letting go of my wants because it is the one thing that I believe I enjoy, not realizing that my actions and participation within the wants has changed into an ignorance and fear of living here and taking responsibility for directing my life within this system and to give up my wants and desires in order to be able to give myself the time to take responsibility and apply myself within the subjects/actions that I must apply myself within in order to manifest the point of self directive responsibility for myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that self-directive responsibility does not exist within wants because of the fact that when a want comes up within the mind it does not come from me as my decision but comes from a fear when/as I look at participating in actions that consist of the definition of responsibility and do not want to spend time on responsibility but only want to spend time within wants and self-interests

I commit myself to developing a pattern where I take responsibility for myself daily and commit myself to sticking to this pattern - taking it slowly at first as the relationship with myself and responsibility must be broken down bit by bit, and to then apply myself more and more within the responsibilities I have created for myself in this world

I commit myself to when and as I find myself resisting taking responsibility and fearing losing mytime for my wants, to stop and breathe in that moment and to forgive myself for participating in that fear and to walk into that fear and push myself through that fear with the realization that I will not be able to realize myself if I do not push myself through my fears, and that if I do not take responsibility for myself as life and responsibility for myself in equality and oneness within this system that I will not be life in fact and in this end when the breath ends as I was only an illusion of characters

I commit myself to show that all have this slacker character within themselves as the want to experience each desire within self and to show that this slacker character is equal and one to the destruction and apathy towards to abuse of life and that this character is not life in fact as it does not support life

I commit myself to taking time out of my day to take responsibility for myself and to let go of the fear of losing time or missing out on something in this world, realizing that all is here is me here, and that within searching and looking for something outside of myself I am in fact missing myself here as life

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