Day 96 - Argumentative Character

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to purposely create an argument with another person to get a rise out of them, get them frustrated and angry, so that I am able to get a rush of energy in knowing that I have control over them and their emotions through pushing their buttons

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that to push someones buttons is able to assist and support themselves within them seeing who they are and what they have defined themselves as but that within this character it is used as a point to either create a negative image upon the other person to invalidate their argument and to support ones own ego and desire to prove ones self as right

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become this character when I know I am about to go into an environment where I have previously competed with people in that environment and to in this develop competition within purposely creating an argument to attempt to win within arguing to prove my point as being right not realizing that within arguing in an attempt to prove my point as right is irrelevant to it being right or not because if it is right it does not need to be argued because it is lived as it is real

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that within arguing no one wins and all lose because nothing is proven, nothing is realized, nothing is lived to make a change, it only supports a mind fuck where each walk away within frustration and anger continuing with the argument within the mind as backchat.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am able to win within arguing with another person instead of realizing that within arguing nothing is solved and nothing is lived to make a change to that which is being argued and nothing is realized within self, but when things are clearly shown through lived examples there is no arguing only showing what is real and thus all `win` within this as reality is shown not argued, win from the perspective that one is then able to see reality or continue to deny it through arguing in that moment

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that within arguing reality is being denied because reality is not arguable it is shown clearly here right before our eyes

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to deny reality through attempting to argue for my opinion formed upon reality and to in arguing support the illusion of my opinion of reality through attempting to get someone to submit to my illusion of reality

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to continue the illusion that I live within through allowing myself to argue with other people about who's opinion of reality is right or not and in this to attempt to fight for my illusion of reality of/as my opinion through arguing missing reality through the point of arguing

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that within arguing reality is missed entirely because reality is not arguable

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to within arguing deny reality - deny the REALity of Reality through attempting to make my opinion of REALity REAL through manipulating a person within arguing to agree that my opinion of reality is more `real` than their opinion in this getting 2 or more in my name to agree with me `validating` the illusion of my reality

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fail to realize/understand/see that reality is not able to be argued because reality is, and anything that is is not able to be argued because it is, and thus within arguing I am only participating only in illusion instead of being here with myself within what is real through breathing within what is real because breath is unarguable