Friday, August 10, 2012

Day 118 - Procrastination Character


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fail to see that the procrastination character is resistance from the mind to move myself in this world in effective application of myself in this reality and system and that if I allow procrastination to build and continue the resistance to effectively participating in this world and system as an equal will be much more difficult than what it needs to be.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that as I allow procrastination to continue in the relationship with taking responsibility I am allowing that relationship to gather `momentum` and become easier to access because that is what I accept and allow the relationship towards taking responsibility to become - making it more difficult to stop because that pathway and acceptance and allowance become engrained into the physical - and that in this to stop the procrastination and take responsibility immediately and get things done and over with in immediacy will start to break down that pattern of procrastination through re-defining and re-developing the relationship I have created towards taking responsibility - in this I realize that there will obviously be resistance towards stopping procrastination because of the developed relationship I have with it

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that the thoughts that pop up when I aim to work on a responsibility that I have are the thoughts that I have attached to the relationship of taking responsibility and that in this the thoughts consist of things that I would rather do instead of take responsibility for myself and that if I give into one single thought - if I follow one thought the pattern of procrastination and the relationship that I have developed with taking responsibility will continue to exist because I did not stop the acceptance and allowance but continued the pattern and thus not re-developing myself in the pattern

I forgive myself that I have accepted an allowed myself to not realize that it is going to take self will to direct myself out of the procrastination character - self will to stop when the thoughts come up  and continue directing myself in the responsibility and self will to remain constant in the application of taking immediate responsibility for myself - recreating the relationship that I have with myself in taking responsibility for myself .

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that in the moment of seeing the thought where I am about to procrastinate working on a responsibility there is a decision and a fear that arise - a fear of letting go of the accepted and allowed relationship within me and a decision of whether or not to take responsibility and that the fear is there to keep me in the point of the accepted and allowed procrastination where I do not develop an effective equal participation in this reality and system - and that this fear is related to doing something that I love - that when the fear arises there is a want to do something that I `love` and in this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that the things that I love doing have only been out of the movement of fear - and that I have not really loved them or anyone - only existed in a point of fear

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that when I participate in procrastination and do something that I love such as video games or going on websites like reddit or other similar websites I am only existing in a point of fear of responsibility and that this fear leads me to do things that make this fear feel good in which I call the feeling love

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that the want for the feeling of love as I procrastinate has only ever been out of fear - and that the `love` that I feel in relation to doing the things that I `love` to do within procrastination has only ever been out of the fear of stopping myself in the accepted and allowed relationship I have with myself and taking responsibility and direct myself within taking responsibility in this world and system and fear becoming an effective equal participant in this reality

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself  to not realize that the `just one` point within the procrastination character is able to develop into the monster that is the procrastination character and that this `just one` has become so enticing and almost innocent that I have become quite viable to accept this `just one more` point within the procrastination character because I have accepted and allowed the definition of harmless and innocent to exist within the definition of the `just one more` character within the procrastination character

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that the just one more point within the procrastination character is the last attempt within the pattern of the character of procrastination to keep the relationship of procrastination in relation to taking responsibility alive

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that the `just one more` point within the character of procrastination is far from innocent and harmless and is in fact a monster hiding behind the veils of innocence and harmlessness, as the innocence is enticing to move into because it does not seem like moving into the point of just one more will be of any harm - not realizing that as I move into this point I move right back into the entirety of the procrastination character and in this keep the relationship developed with responsibility alive and do not give myself the chance to recreate myself in relation to taking responsibility to what is best for all and equality and oneness

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fail to see that as I am in the procrastination character and as I am thinking about the procrastination that I am within - this thinking only keeps me within the procrastination character as I am existing within a hope that I will stop it by nagging at myself for all the procrastination that I have been participating in - not realizing that to stop procrastination I take the point of responsibility and place it here as myself in breath and I move within that point of responsibility of myself within the physical here as me and stop all thoughts and breathe the point here as myself and walk it within the physical

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that time is of the essence in this reality and that there are time limits within this reality that direct this reality and that procrastination within this time limit can severely limit oneself within being effective within this reality and system

I commit myself to stopping the thoughts that arise when/as I move myself to take responsibility for myself and in this stopping of thoughts to develop self will in being able to direct myself effectively within this world and system.


I commit myself to knowing myself as the procrastination character and in this not accepting the shit and manipulation within the character and in this know myself in how I am operating within the procrastination character and in this allow myself to be transcend the relationship that I have with taking responsibility for myself that much easier

I commit myself to walking into the fear of taking responsibility for myself and face myself within the fear of actually becoming an effective participant in this reality in equality and oneness moving within what is best for all - in this letting go of the love/fear that I have had for things such as video games and entertainment and developing a relationship with myself to take responsibility for myself immediately

I realize that this is not going to develop immediately and that it is going to take time and effort to create this relationship with myself but the more self will I apply within stopping the thoughts that more the relationship breaks down and the more I am able to move effectively within this world and system

1 comment: