Sunday, August 19, 2012

Day 128 - I Hate This Family Character

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become reactive to seeing my family participate within desires such as drinking and watching television - reacting in anger and disgust -and not bring this reaction back to myself and look at myself in/as where I am still allowing that point within myself and correct that point within my living

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not take responsibility for myself through/as bringing my emotions, thoughts, feelings back to myself, and direct myself within the point within my life and my living habits - where in this I take responsibility for going into the point of desire as shown within my reaction to seeing my family participate in drinking, partying, watching tv, and entertaining self

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to separate myself from my family because of my reaction to seeing family members drink, smoke, and not take responsibility for themselves nor the life around them - in this not realizing that I in fact want to be included within the family but the fact that I won't allow myself to participate in drinking nor extensive television watching allows myself to create that separation within myself -in this not realizing that I do participate in the same point within entertaining myself on the internet extensively and allowing myself to consume candy which is within the same point of desire and not taking responsibility for self and life to live that which is best for all

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not fully commit myself within directing myself within responsibility for my life where I, in who I am, live responsibility for myself and my life and direct myself within activities as I stand within the point of myself of taking responsibility for myself here as life and in this allow myself to go into the experience of frustration and anger when/as I see my family or others for that matter participate within the same point of desire and the character of not taking responsibility

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become a dictator to myself within the point of anger and frustration in relation to the point of participating in desire/energy and not take responsibility for directing self to create self as life that lives what is best for all and gives that which is best for all through/as living it here as self - in this not allowing myself to stand equal and one to myself within the point of desire and not taking responsibility for myself and living a solution to myself within/as that character - but within judging myself and becoming disgusted at myself when I move out of the `addiction` or `possession` of participating in this character I do not allow myself to live a solution to myself in/as this character because I am within judgment, anger, and disgust towards myself instead of understanding myself within this character and what triggers me to live it, and why I accept myself to continue to live it

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that the experience of myself in hating the family that I live within only exists when/as I see others participating in this point without me and in this I realize that if I were included within the drinking and the experience I believe is associated with what I am seeing I would not go into the experience of not wanting to be a part of this family - as I would be `included` and in this I realize that I must direct myself and learn to direct myself in these points where I become able to direct myself in every moment without needing to be included or involved in anything other than myself here within breath

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fail to realize that the experience of hating the family that I was born into is only because I truly want to be a part of the family and feel included and in this I use the point of becoming the desire character and the lack of responsibility character to create a point of anger within myself that I allow myself to direct towards the family members - not realizing that I am in fact only angry and disgusted at myself within/as the character's that I am seeing as myself within others - family members being the immediate influence - and in this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not take this back to myself and direct myself within it but to allow myself to become another character as the emotion of hate towards others for that which I accept and allow within myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that any and all relationships with others that I have is what I accept and allow myself to live with myself - that any and all relationships are in fact my relationship with myself - in this I am able to take all relationships that I live and bring them back to myself and see where in fact I am living this with myself and use the experiences to correct my relationship with myself in standing in equality and oneness with myself where I do not judge myself or become disgusted with myself as that is separation from myself

I commit myself to taking all relationships that I live with other people back to myself and see where in my life I am living the relationship with myself and in this I commit myself to correcting the relationship with myself to understanding myself in my actions and decisions and living habits and patterns so that I am able to effectively delete and change all characters that I live within into equality and oneness with myself and live what is best for all through giving back that which has been unconditionally given to me - Life

I commit myself to correcting myself in the relationship with myself in regards to the desire character and to the lack of responsibility character - so that I do not become disgusted or angered with myself for participating within it but to clearly investigate myself within the character and look within myself at what triggers the character within me and delete this trigger through forgiveness and re-create myself in/as my living habits and patterns into living what is best for all

I commit myself to when/as I find myself reacting to others participating in the desire or lack of responsibility character or reacting to anyone at anytime to bring this point back to myself and look within myself where I am allowing the relationship to exist with myself and to then in this investigate myself within the point - forgive myself - and correct myself through standing equal and one with myself in understanding - being educated - in how I allow myself to become the character - correcting myself to living what is best for all so that we may finally get out of this illusion that we've been living and create a system on Earth where no Life is abused

1 comment:

  1. I realized today in relation to a family-member that the disgust comes forward out of fear, and after speaking in equality the fear went away and within this also the disgust disappeared. Which is a new starting-point for me.
    Thanks for sharing.

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