Wednesday, August 22, 2012

Day 131 - Masturbation, Video Games, And Candy Character pt 3

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into the polarity of this character where I avoid this character at all costs in not allowing myself to eat anything that I define within `junk food` or entertain myself at all, and where I shut down all sexual thoughts and suppress the sexual thoughts instead of allowing myself to be here with myself and direct the thoughts when/as they come up within equality and oneness when/as standing equal to the thoughts and myself within the thoughts - not allowing fear to direct me within/as the thoughts through avoidance of myself within/as the character

 I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to avoid going into this character out of fear instead of standing equal and one to myself in standing as the point of changing myself within/as this character wherein as the thought comes up that leads to this character I stand as the point of change in equality and oneness with myself in the thoughts and in the character of/as myself and walk myself in changing myself within/as this character - not allowing fear to be the direction of myself within/as this character

 I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not stand one and equal to this character by allowing fear as a response to any thought that will lead to this character - in this not allowing myself an opportunity to actually change myself in living this character and stopping living this character and allow myself to live within breathing and directing myself in doing what is best for all

 I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to resist going into this character and in this resistance allow the thoughts that lead to this character to persist within the mind - and in this react out of fear as shown within the resistance instead of stopping the thought - slowing myself down - breathing and looking at myself and the thought in equality and oneness without fear and deciding whether or not to allow myself to follow the thought or to stay in breath and continue to direct myself in taking responsibility for that which I must get done and take responsibility for within the time that I have within the day

 I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that I have the choice in whether or not to accept myself as the thought and by fearing the thought I am not able to make that choice as I am choosing to fear it and what I fear will manifest and thus I will become the character from simply fearing myself in becoming the character

 I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not make the deliberate choice to stop participating in this character and support myself here in breath and direct myself in taking responsibility for myself within/as getting the responsibilities done within the time that I have to get them done - in this not sabotaging myself by holding off the responsibilities until later wherein I then sabotage myself by not allowing myself to sleep long enough and become groggy or tired for work the next morning

 I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that this character takes up time within my reality that I can use to support myself in breathing and taking responsibility for myself in doing the assignments/tasks within this system that will allow myself to give myself a better life within having more money and able to support a better life for all within/as giving more money to a cause that will support a better life for all like the equal money system

 I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that I am able to put myself to better use within time where I am able to investigate myself and how I have separated myself from life and living what is best for all

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that it is not masturbation or candy or video games that is the problem within the relationship - it is me within the relationship and how I abuse myself within candy, masturbation and video games, and that it is me within candy, masturbation and video games that needs to change and thus resisting playing video games, eating candy, or masturbating is not the solution as the solution remains with me and changing the relationship I have with masturbation, candy, video games into self support instead of abuse as I now live it

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize the futility in resisting the thoughts that lead to this character as this character is who/what I've become and lived in relation to candy, masturbation and video games where I abuse myself within it and thus I must embrace myself within this character, understand myself as this character and stop myself within this character through not resisting myself but embracing myself and doing what is best for me within this character where I limit myself within masturbation, candy consumption and time playing video games so that I do not sabotage myself in spending too much time playing video games or consuming too much candy where the blood sugar level becomes difficult to control and maintain within a reasonable level or masturbating within self expression of myself within sex not using any stimulus separate from myself here in breath to orgasm

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not embrace myself in this character and in this embracing take control of myself in this character by/as placing myself back into my hands and my responsibility instead of allowing myself to `run free` in this character wherein I then allow myself to go out of control within this character and cause abuse unto myself in which I will then later have to face the consequences

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not embrace myself within the thoughts that lead to this character but allow myself to separate myself from the thoughts within fear which then cause myself to live within this character instead of take control of myself and direct myself to move within the responsibilities that I have within that day/time and in this breathe when/as the thoughts come up embrace them and run them through myself in breath and diffuse myself within the fear of the thoughts and within this stay here within breath and let the thought unconditionally go and then direct myself

I commit myself to embracing myself within this character and embracing myself within all thoughts instead of allowing a relationship of fear and separation to direct myself within the relationship with myself and thoughts and in this truly get to know myself and stand equal and one with myself in embracing myself and stopping the separation of myself within fear

 I commit myself to when/as thoughts come up in relation to this character to breathe and in this breath take the thought and place it as me - embrace it - and in this understand the thought - see the thought and see myself within the thought and in this stand equal and one with myself and the thought and direct it appropriately within what is best for me as life and best for all as life

 I commit myself to stopping the relationship of fear with myself in thinking and to direct myself appropriately within each thought to live what is best for all life

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