Thursday, September 6, 2012

Day 146 - The Symbolic Character


This character exists as a connection maker wherein a point may come up within ones reality and this character will take that point and refer back to knowledge and information based on that specific point or symbol, and in this attempt to create future projections onto the future because of that specific symbol. AS well this character will use the symbol to attempt to direct itself to believe that it is significant and that this symbol or this event was specifically placed here for me by something greater than self and that thus this symbolic character is something significant within the world stage.

This character will take events and symbols and create a belief from the events or symbols about self as the character and this character will look for anything that is possible to make up a belief that I as the character are significant and within the symbol or event take that belief and then attempt to direct oneself from the event or symbol to live a greater purpose than self here as life, constantly looking for more `signs` within symbols or happenings to further direct the character and further infuse the belief that this character is significant through using the events and happenings to instill the belief.

This character has no direction other than the one it makes up based on beliefs. It leads itself through life within the hope that all these symbols and events will eventually lead to a greater purpose for self, and will eventually lead to a god character, or to a superior position within the imagination of what life is, ignoring the reality of what life REALly is. It takes a point from reality and decides, if this then that wherein if this one thing happened that that means that this other thing will happen or is symbolic towards myself being evil or symbolic towards myself being good while it is all an attempt to find validation to consider self more important than anything else that exists, and deliberately ignores the equality and oneness within reality

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to as the symbolic character look for any meaning that I can hold onto to direct myself within in order to attain a higher purpose within life and to attain a higher state of being, failing to see the equality within the relationships here wherein I as this character am not able to support myself as life infinitely within the belief that I am better and that I am a god type person because if I exist as this god type and am better than all others and essential do not need all others, than as that point would come into reality wherein I am only left with the belief I simply die because a belief is not able to support breath here within life, it is not able to support the heartbeat, it is not able to support a blade of grass, it is not able to support the smallest measurement of the physical existence because it simply does not exist as the physical existence nor does it hold the point of creation over existence wherein if I as this belief could stand infinitely nothing would come of it because it is not a point of creation, it is a point that has been created that is an illusion from/as the physical and self by/as using the physical as the body and the resources that are the body to turn the resources into energy to manufacture this illusion as the belief of a destined higher purpose and/or a relationship with a higher being than self here as life

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to as the symbolic character not take responsibility for myself being the directive principle of myself no matter what, because as I allow the beliefs and connections between the belief and the symbol to direct me I am still the creator of the allowance and the beliefs and thoughts and as this I am always responsible for what my life turns out to be and the events that exist within my life and that within this there is no possible way for a higher being to direct me because it is obvious that I directed myself to this point

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to wish and hope as the symbolic character for some sign that I am on the right path to a higher state of living, wherein I take this hope, wish, and desire for love to create a belief within myself that specific symbols and events that happen within my life are specifically placed or directed to by a god character or a higher being than me to get me to live my higher purpose, whatever that may be and that these symbols and events are clues on how to direct myself within my life to attain this higher state or enlightenment

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to as the symbolic character separate myself from self direction by/as looking for symbols within this reality that `mean` something to me so that I can take that meaning that I hold within that symbol and then define it as myself, and then direct and define myself from that symbol and the definition of that symbol that I have accepted and allowed instead of being here with myself and directing myself within breath and being the directive principle of myself instead of going on a wild goose chase where I start to look for symbols everywhere so that I can uphold and maintain the definitions of myself within a positive polarity, and in this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that this is simply a game made up by me so that I can not be bored within my life, so that I have something to focus on and, within the mind, achieve as I attempt to achieve a positive polarity at the end of the game

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to as the symbolic character place meaning where there in fact is no meaning, and to conjure up meaning within things that are meaningless so that I can attempt to give meaning to my life and myself and to believe that my existence is meaningful when taking a look at the whole and how much life actually exists here, my life is only but an atom upon a body of atoms and thus my life is quite meaningless and life itself is meaningless, but this does not mean that I should not continue to live because of a lack of meaning, but am able to simply realize the meaningless of this life and that if I continue along the path that all others have taken which is similar to the American Dream, Get a car, a house, have a family, and a career, then my life will simply be meaningless, but within the realization of the meaninglessness of myself within continuing along this system I am thus then able to give it meaning - not by associating symbols and events with made up shit within the mind but meaning in the context of supporting a life where no life is abused, supporting a life of dignity throughout the globe, and a life that is actually enjoyable, and by that context meaning in this sense would be the value of life, and not meaning based on a point of self interest wherein I want to view myself as the character of symbolism as superior than all others resultant from made up beliefs within the mind

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to as the symbolic character make connections, like if this than that, to attempt to predict the future and give myself value within predicting the future , when really it was only a pattern that I saw within reality and made myself believe myself to be more by defining it as predicting the future, and within this hold onto one moment wherein I correctly guessed the events of the future within a pattern and hold onto the belief that this character is valuable because I as the character am able to read into patterns and symbols and then make assumptions from these symbols and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that reading into patterns and symbols is possible but when it is out of self interest to make self believe self is more than others or has a divine purpose than the direction from the symbols etc, is going to be fucked up

I commit myself to stopping this character by being self honesty with myself when/a I go into this character and attempt to attach value to myself by looking for a meaning to life and creating a meaning within made up beliefs and values based on deity, divinity, and superiority, and to in this stop that belief immediately by taking a look at the larger picture and how insignificant myself as life am, but not insignificant from the perspective of inferiority but insignificant in the context of equality wherein all life is equal

I commit myself to stop looking for and creating meaning from the symbols within the flesh and to when/as I start to equate if this then that within the context of giving meaning or value to my life within beliefs to stop within that moment and to let go of the beliefs and desire for value or meaning and bring myself back here within breath and simply direct myself from breath and not from supposed value or meaning that I conjure up from beliefs of what symbols mean

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