Monday, September 24, 2012

Day 164 - Just Because I can Character


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to indulge within the mind and within energy just because I can, allowing myself to masturbate within the starting point of energy, just because I can, allowing myself to consume mass amounts of candy, just because I can, allowing myself to think random thoughts without correction or without consideration of what I am thinking, just because I can, allowing myself to willingly sabotage myself, just because I can, allowing myself to not be here with myself in breath and focusing on myself taking responsibility for myself, just because I can, and in this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that because I can makes it `free` with no consequence and no effects of what I participate within/as onto myself as life

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not consider the consequences and effects of what I participate in within the mind and within energy because as the point of indulgence arrives within the mind, be it masturbation, sugar, smoking, entertaining myself, I do not stop and look at the consequences but immediately jump into the point, just because I can within that moment, and in this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that I do just because I can usually when I have an amount of time to use that is not dedicated to responsibility wherein I allow myself to go into this character on the weekends because there is an abundance of time on the weekends because I do not need to work nor go to school and so when/as a thought arises to indulge within energy I jump on it, just because I can within the time that is here on the weekends and during the week I do not participate in this character because I `can't` from the aspect of not having enough time to `fuck around` because most of the time within the weekday is dedicated to school, work, or this blog or homework or other responsibilities that I can take care of within the week

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to jump into this character without proper consideration of the effects and consequences of myself participating in this character, jumping immediately on a point that I agree to participate in within the mind, with the excuse, just because I can and in this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize the equality and oneness that this reality operates within where that which I do does not only have a consequence unto myself but a consequence to all of this reality through/as my being here within this reality and being connected to this reality by/as being here, failing to realize that just because I can does not mean that I should or that I can without consequence

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I can continue within this belief of just because I can because I have not seen the manifested consequence of my participation within this character, in this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to willingly abuse and spite myself because of the excuse of just because I can, not realizing that what I am doing to myself is absolute shit and not giving to myself as I would like to receive - I am abusing myself by/as participating within this character and abusing life by/as participating in this character without a shred of remorse using the excuse of just because I can to hide from myself from facing what I am doing within the moment of the acceptance of the thought

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to jump into a thought without considering the effects and consequences of the thought or where it comes from, or how it developed or how I accepted it as myself, because it is easier to do than to stop myself in the thought, and re-direct myself from the thought, and in this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that it is the same `difficulty` to stop myself within the thought and forgive myself within the thought and stay within breath, it is only the fact that I have accepted and allowed this relationship with the mind over time to develop and thus the `pathway` to accept this is more accepted then to stop the thought and correct myself within the thought

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize the extent of abuse I am doing to myself and life by accepting myself as this character of/as `just because I can`, and avoid and run away from myself after I have participated in the point of abuse `just because I can` so that I do not need to face what I am accepting and allowing myself to do unto myself and create myself as

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize the lack of self love I am giving to myself within this character and the lack of self trust I am building within accepting and allowing myself to participate in this character, not allowing myself to trust myself to correct myself by allowing the point of `just because I can` because each time a point comes up that I have committed myself to stop or that I have `wanted` to stop I allow myself to give into the thought/action from the starting point of `just because I can` allowing a lack of trust to build and build each time that I participate in the action, compromising myself entirely within walking this process out of the mind and into life here within breath in stability where I am the decision within the actions I make, and not because I can.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that I am behind the just because I can, that I have accepted and allowed myself to become and live this way without consideration of what I am doing, what I am accepting and allowing, and without consideration of the abuse that I am living onto myself and this world through participating in the abuse of myself just because I can, and in this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to realize that I have no idea what I am doing within this character because I have yet to understand the mind and understand thoughts, understand energy, and the consequences of myself participating in them, allowing myself to live and act blindly based on a thought, a feeling, an emotion, because where it leads to is where I am `happy` and that is all that I have cared about - no matter the other persons expense in creating this happiness through abuse - nor my expense in creating this happiness.

I commit myself to not go into a thought just because I can, but to understand myself within participating in the thoughts, feelings, emotions, and to in this take a step back from the thought and myself within the thought through breathing and bringing myself back here to myself , taking responsibility for myself within the thought, seeing myself within the thought, seeing the abuse that I am allowing, and in this deliberately stop myself from living the thought and commit myself to live here in breath, directing myself within what is best for all and not from feelings and emotions `just because I can`

I commit myself to when/as a thought comes up that I have regularly accepted and allowed myself to participate in and the desire comes up to participate in it `just because I can` to take a breath, a few breaths if need be, and slow myself down extensively in that moment, and take a look at what I am in fact accepting and allowing within myself, and take a look at what I am doing and the consequences of the actions, the effects on myself and life through/as participating in the thought, emotion, feeling, and within slowing myself down, redirect myself here in breath to become responsible for what I accept and allow within myself - taking responsibility for accepting and allowing the thought, and taking responsibility for correcting it as myself here as life in breath

I commit myself to stopping myself within the character of `just because I can` taking responsibility for what I accept and allow as me and what I accept and allow in this world and redirect myself to change myself within the thought of just accepting it and participating in it to living what is best for all in this world

No comments:

Post a Comment