Sunday, October 28, 2012

Day 198 - Energy, Breathing and Direction


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become so involved in energy, in beliefs, fantasies, ideas, judgments, thoughts, emotions, feelings that I cannot see past the veil of all the energy and allow myself to get caught up in the energy, not seeing what is real or what practically needs to be done within the physical in relation to writing or testing blood sugars, or cooking a decent meal or homework or assignments or basically any point of responsibility that I have in this world towards myself as life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not give myself the time and patience to step back from all the thoughts, beliefs, ideas, judgments etc /energy and see what it is I am exactly participating within/as and in this giving myself patience and slowing myself down - bring myself back here in breath allowing myself the ability to respond efficiently here within this physical as I take physical responses and apply them here in the physical.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to `lose` or get caught up in the cykill of energy so much so that I allow myself no patience or awareness to simply be here with myself in breath within the physical, but always in a constant fluctuation of energy, back and forth between thoughts, causing myself to physically apply myself in an indirect manner of that which I am walking within/as the physical by/as allowing myself to direct myself from energy consequently causing myself to often be distracted and unfocused on the task at hand by/as allowing myself to go into the thoughts and energy and look for ways to further create energy from/as using the associative relationships to energy and the physical that I've created within my past.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not give myself the awareness of myself in energy or thoughts to slow myself down to a pace that is equal to myself here in breath, in each breath, wherein doing so I allow myself to be here with myself and direct myself here in the physical by/as utilizing the patience and awareness I give myself to effectively direct myself through/as/within the physical reality to effectively walk that which is necessary for me to walk within any given specific moment or time or responsibility

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to get caught up in energy so much so that when/as I direct myself within something without energy, the lack of energy or stimulation causes me to get tired, and thus resist anything thing involves direction without energy because of the dependence that I've created on energy for me to do anything within the physical reality

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not give myself the opportunity to bring myself out of energy by/as giving myself patience and slowing myself down in breath to be here with myself in breath without energy or the need to be stimulated within/as energy, giving myself the opportunity by allowing myself some time to just sit and breathe with myself and remove the constant thoughts that are repeating in the mind, slowing myself down within the mind and stopping the thoughts as they come up, taking responsibility for myself within the mind for allowing the thoughts by stopping myself from continuing to allow the thoughts to persist, in this bringing myself back here one breath at a time to give myself the ability to direct and respond within/as this reality effectively to show what/how this reality is and how I am within this reality

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to avoid responsibility by/as allowing myself to get caught up in energy without direction, meaning as I get caught up in energy I will abdicate responsibility for myself here because I will only respond within/as energy and not with awareness of myself in breath or within/as the physical - in this only allowing the abuse within/as energy to persist and continue instead of directing it by giving myself the ability to direct it by bringing myself back here in breath and awareness of myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not give myself the ability to respond to myself within/as energy by getting caught up, totally involved in the thoughts, emotions and feelings that come up within the mind, in this only responding within/as energy to make more energy and only furthering myself within energy by allowing myself to get caught up within it instead of taking responsibility for myself within energy, stepping back from myself within/as energy for a moment in breath and responding accordingly to what I am participating in within the mind in thoughts, emotions, feelings, beliefs, judgments etc, responding accordingly within/as stopping and applying forgiveness for participating in the thought patterns that I've been participating in within the mind, and in taking a step back seeing all that which the pattern consists of and how it has been lived within this world, and again respond accordingly within/as seeing the abuse that the thought pattern has consisted of and been created by us through/as our participation within it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to get caught up in the good feelings within energy, within the excitement within energy that I give myself no ability to stop myself within energy by allowing myself to get too excited within energy that I lose my footing here on the ground in the physical and start to continuously participate within the mind within the excitement of energy - not giving myself the ability to respond accordingly and see entirely that which I am participating within/as the thought pattern of the excitement of the thoughts or backchat that I am having within myself.

I commit myself to when/as I find myself participating in energy to an extent that I am getting caught up in it and starting to become exited and lose direction and grounding of myself here in the physical to give myself patience and time to just be here with myself in breath for moments and in this remove myself from the excitement within energy, and stop directing myself within energy, take responsibility for myself within/as participating in the thoughts and excitement that was energy and in breath, direct myself here within the physical within what practically needs my attention and focus and my effort to be put into it

I commit myself to giving myself the opportunity to effectively respond to myself within/as the mind by taking a step back from myself within the mind and look at all that which I am participating within/as the thought pattern and apply self forgiveness on the thought pattern and all that I can see that exists within/as it and take responsibility for myself within the thought pattern and put an end to myself within/as the thought pattern to effectively take responsibility for myself in allowing the shit that exists from myself and all others participating in said thought pattern

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I commit myself to giving myself patience as I walk myself within the excitement of energy and the rush that I allow myself to participate within/as energy, giving myself patience to slowly walk myself out of the energy by remaining stable within breath and by taking one breath at a time to stop myself from participating in the energy, in this grounding myself back here within the physical and walking that which I must walk within daily responsibilities like blogging or managing myself within diabetes or homework or assignments and simply get them done without participating or distracting myself through allowing myself to participate in energy

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