Monday, November 5, 2012

Day 204 - Carb Counting Part 1


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to resist carb counting because I have made and allowed the excuse of it being time wasting, hard to manage when cooking home meals, the difficulty in it, the effort it takes, and within these excuses allow myself to not practically support myself in creating a mathematical equation and ratio for insulin injected and carbohydrates consumed, the be able to best manage the sugar levels, the best keep them between the 4-8mmol/L range

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to resist carb counting because when I make food the carbs within the food are not easily readable, and I will have to factor in all the food within the dish that I am eating, essentially making the excuse that it is too difficult for me to effectively calculate all the carbohydrates within a dish and in this not realizing that I do the exact same process now with foods that are labelled with carbs - meaning I weight them out - calculate the carbs within the weight that I am eating and inject the amount of insulin based on the current carb to insulin ratio that I am using at the moment

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize or see that the current insulin to carb ratio that I am using has been showing signs of ineffectivity, meaning that I am going low within the current carb to insulin ratio that I've been using and that to create a way of changing the current ratio that I am using into one that is supportive and effective with the body I need to really manage and weigh out the carbs that I am eating so that I am able to get a practical understanding of how many units of insulin to inject for the amount of carbs that I eat, and that in this I am going to need to pay more attention to how many carbs I am intaking throughout the day and be aware of how much insulin I am injecting for the amount of carbs ate and in this record the numbers of the sugar levels a few hours after eating to see how the insulin affected the sugar level with the amount of carbs ate, and in this make the corrective changes to the insulin to carb ratio that I am currently using and as well to effectively find the correct amount of insulin to inject for the foods that I eat when I am on a strict schedule during the weekdays

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not allow myself to see the simplicity within creating an effective insulin to carb ratio by allowing myself to eat 10g of carbs and recording 2 hours later the sugar level, allowing myself to see how much 10g of carbs affects the sugar level and then in this inject 1 unit of insulin to see how much the sugar drops with 1 unit of insulin - in this giving myself an effective understanding of a unit to carb to blood sugar ratio that I am able to best support myself practically in this, and in this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make the excuse that there are too many variables such as 1 unit of insulin being too little for me to gather effective information because I have, in past experiences when injecting one unit, had a little droplet at the end of the needle thus suggesting that all of the 1 unit of insulin did not enter the body, and in this excuse simply not supporting myself because of that excuse when really I am able to leave the needle in for longer and take it out slowly to make sure that all the insulin within the 1 unit has gone into the body and if not I am able to inject 2 and eat 20g of carbs to still give me the same ratio

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to resist carb counting because of the time that I need to apply within it to support myself within/as it - simply making the excuse that it is too time consuming for me to practically support myself when in reality I have an abundance of time to practically support myself and that I am able to make and create the time to weigh out the foods, and check the carbs within the foods that I am eating to best practically support myself within diabetes and in creating a new carb to insulin ratio based on my schedule and body now - because I realize that I've been using the same carb to unit ratio since I was diagnosed and that this most likely has changed dramatically now that I am out of puberty and have gotten older

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not take into consideration my support of myself within diabetes and how I still have many points to develop within effective support and management of myself within diabetes, and in this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from the word management and place it within/as a point that I must control myself within/as I must suppress and resist the desires to not support myself, not realizing or standing equal and one to myself within the support of myself within diabetes, allowing support to simply be support as me and not a need to `manage` myself within diabetes manage as a definition of always standing over myself in control of myself instead of not standing with/as myself in breath and simply supporting myself within diabetes

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that there are going to be different times for different carb ratios shown through me needing to inject far less insulin for the food that I eat at work because of the job being physically demanding or because of the lack of hormones produced at night and that in this I can give myself the ability to again create a ratio for myself at work or while I work or while I do physical exercise by allowing myself to eat a specific amount of food that will best support me at work such as 30g of carbs and then test at the next break to see if that is a practical benchmark to start with while investigating the ratio while at work, because as I work I eat 60g of carbs at a break and inject 1.5 insulin thus meaning that 10g at a break simply will not support me throughout the time that I work because I will burn off that food too quickly and go low needing to eat something else …

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not carb count sugars when I go low but to simply consume sugar until I no longer feel low in this not giving myself a practical understanding or method of what and how much to eat while I go low but only creating a basic general method for all lows when it is clear to me that I need to eat a different amount of carbs at different times during my day if/when I go low and that it is beneficial for me to be aware of how many carbs I am eating while I am going to low to best get an understanding of how much food I need to intake while I am going low within the specific times/events during the day.

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