Monday, November 5, 2012

Day 206 - Re-Alinging Myself to Responsibility, Direction and Breath


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from focusing on the direction that I am walking in this system for the movement of energy within me, separating myself from allowing myself to stay focused on myself and walking that which I need to walk - walking the education system, the material within the education system that I am currently walking effectively by/as allowing myself to focus more on energy than processing the information, allowing myself to lose focus on myself in breath and allow myself to participate more and more in thoughts and energy within myself - allowing myself to not stay focused on myself here , not allowing myself to remain stable and focused and directed within/as the education system and directing myself within this world without distraction from/as energy

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to focus more on energy within myself, energy within the mind - allowing myself to become distracted easily from focusing on walking that which I must walk - this blog, homework, assignments, simple daily tasks, diabetic recordings and care, and as I allow myself to focus more on energy than living myself within/as the responsibility that I must walk with dedication and effectiveness I allow myself to slack off and accumulate more and more manifested consequences that I must walk through which is an unnecessary practice that I've been allowing myself to put myself through simply by allowing myself to focus and want the energy within the mind that I create through the associative relationships within polarity to what is here - and in this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not remain focused with myself here in breath - not allowing the thoughts to distract me, diverge me from focusing on walking that which I need to walk, distract me from focusing on taking care of myself as a diabetic, investigating myself within diabetes, writing this blog, giving myself time to effectively understand the material that I am learning in school, investigate universities that I am able to attend, and in this make sure that I give myself proper and effective direction within life as I walk through this system - making sure that what I have an understanding of how/where to direct myself within this system by/as giving myself the time to properly research that which I would like to walk in this life and create for myself and others instead of directing myself blindly as I am doing by/as giving more time and attention to energy and getting energy than being responsible for myself in making sure that I am able to best support the birth of life from myself within/as this system of abuse that is currently here

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become more focused on sex and a relationship than focusing on me and how/what I am living and being and focus on correcting my actions, focus on remaining stable here in breath, remain directive within myself within what I must do practically in this life to best be able to give myself the opportunity to place myself within this system in a position that I am able to effectively contribute to a change within the system and how we live from this self destructive nature, this abuse that we live, into life itself - into support for/as life, but for me to do this properly I must first stop allowing the self destructive and abusive nature within myself which has been the focus and attention on energy instead of myself here as breath

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to distract myself from walking the path that I am walking effectively within the education system, within myself in investigating myself within diabetes, within properly allowing myself to give me to me within breath, by allowing myself to focus more on energy within separation, energy within sex, within relationships, within movies, within entertainment, causing myself to sabotage and abuse myself as life, because the sugar levels do not lie to me, and the point that sugar levels show me is my abdication of myself within responsibility for myself for the purpose of energy, and that in the past few days I've had issues keeping the sugar levels on track because I've allowed myself to distrackt myself within the search and desire for energy within sex and relationships.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not consistently and constantly focus on myself within what I am accepting and allowing within myself, focus on how and who I am allowing myself to be, but to ignore and disregard myself here within who I am accepting and allowing myself to be through pleading ignorance to what I've been allowing within/as myself because I have been aware of what I've been accepting and allowing within myself in these past few days yet have made no attempt to correct myself within it - I've ignorantly allowed myself to continue within the search for energy within sex and relationships and been aware that I've been allowing myself to not remain focused on myself here in breath or remain focused on the responsibilities that I have within the current space and time within my direct reality/environment

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to immediately jump on the opportunity to create energy within myself, immediately allow myself to distract myself from remaining focused on myself here in breath and within self direction of myself, and in this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to immediately jump on the thought that says I will become happy if I do this one thing = continue within the want for energy within sex and relationships - and as I jump on the one thought allow myself to immediately lose focus on myself in breath, within direction of that which I need to take responsibility for within this life = myself, which causes manifested consequence of self-sabotage within too much sleep, or consistently running at high blood sugars, or not effectively being able to learn the material that I am learning in school, and in this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself for this instead of realizing or understanding that this is what I've accepted and allowed from myself for quite some time = the immediate pursuit of happiness, similar to my consumption of sugar and sweets, and that this point is not something to judge within this small application of myself within this entire system of energy and myself allowing myself to become addicted to it, but to further understand and further walk through this desire for energy within sex and relationships

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not understand that my decision to focus more on sex and relationships has been within me the entire time - it is only that I have not had the point come into my reality for quite some time, and in this - now that it is here I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to squander the opportunity to further investigate and remove myself from the addiction to energy by allowing myself to judge myself for focusing heavily on sex and relationships, squandering the opportunity by creating a veil of judgment, of negativity within myself, from actually seeing what I am accepting and allowing within myself within this current point that I am facing within myself/reality - and in this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself within the polarity of negativity for allowing myself to focus more on sex and relationships than on myself within living the point of absolute responsibility for myself in this life/world

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that this addiction to energy is what I've accepted and allowed within/as myself for quite some time, and as such the manifestation of diabetes has been clear evidence of this fact, so thus within this it is not something to judge or hate on myself for but to further understand and correct myself within/as so that I am able to remove the addiction to energy within myself and consequently allow myself to remain focused on myself in walking and living responsibility for myself here within this current system

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not take this point within my reality and do my best to make sure that I do not sabotage myself within it , not compromise myself within, and remain focused on my dedication to myself as life, to remain dedicated to life itself in this world in this system, and give myself the ability to effectively change myself by/as remaining stable in breath and directive within that which I will walk within this current system to support all life within this system and not continue to allow abuse from myself as that which I have been accepting due to my allowance of separation and distraction within the search and desire for energy within sex and relationships

More on this tomorrow

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