Friday, November 9, 2012
Day 210 - Re-Alignment to Responsibility, Direction and Breath part 5
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not slow myself down to being here with myself in breath, at least each day, to not give myself the time and patience to walk this life with patience in/as the slow movement of what is able to be done within each breath by taking some time out of my day from doing anything, from being caught up in the mind, and sitting with myself, breathing and slowing myself down, and bringing myself back into focus here on breath, breath by breath, and walking whatever I need to do within that moment within breath - in this stopping myself from allowing myself to create one moment from the next within/as thought, within/as energy, stopping myself from forever searching and chasing the point of completion of the next thing that I have to do, and in this be here with myself as I walk that which I must do - walk the information that I am learning in school, walk the time that I have to work, walk myself at home, - walking myself within the things that I have to do instead of constantly focusing on getting the one thing done and onto the next thing - in this give myself patience to be here with myself in breath and participate physically within what needs to be done
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that when/as I look at the time, I am impatient at that one moment, I am worrying about how much time I have left or how much time I've spent on one task, and in this showing myself that I am always considering and worrying/fearing time, not having enough time, not getting enough done within the time that I have, or wasting too much time, and in this I am placing stress on myself within/as time of not having enough time as I think about all the things/responsibilities that I have to do still, all the homework, all the blogs, all the assignments, in this fret and become impatient with myself within that which I am walking within breath because I then start to create the want to get it done faster and move onto the next thing that I have to do causing myself to continuously fret about time, continuously distract myself from being here with myself in patience because I am always looking at the time - always looking into what the future may hold instead of being here with myself in each breath as I take on any task, any responsibility that I have during the day(s)
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that staying in breath is the best way for me to stop distracting myself with thoughts and following the desire for energy because as I breathe I do not allow the thoughts to accumulate into a point of possession, but can take immediate responsibility for the thoughts, stop myself within them and direct myself within/as the thoughts to remain stable and focused on myself here in each breath as I walk whatever I am walking within a day
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to look for something to be excited about - look for something to invest my time and energy within the mind and as I allow myself to look at create a point of projection and anticipation within the mind, distract myself from being here with myself in breath - and in this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to `look forward` for anything within/as creating a point of value within the thing that I am looking forward to - allowing myself to create ideas, beliefs, projections, scenarios, etc as I allow myself to look forward, in this not allowing myself to be here within focus on myself in breath within that which I am currently doing within each breath here giving myself the ability to live absolute responsibility for myself within/as the things that I am doing, giving myself the ability to be specific as I allow myself to focus and pay attention to what is here with me in each breath and giving myself the ability to accordingly direct myself within the thing that I am doing to do what is best for all within/as it - like writing this blog with absolute specificity will assist and support not only myself but anyone who reads this, and if I allow myself to distract myself when/as I am writing the blog I've noticed that I will lose focus or that `place` that I was at within the writing and not be as specific within the writings.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not be patient with myself here in looking at all the details that are available here in each breath - giving myself the patience and time to take a step back from looking forward, take a step back from all the thoughts, take a step back from all my participation within the mind, and be here with myself in breath and patience within each breath - looking at the specificity of what is here with me, and seeing the specificity, the details of what is here - giving myself the ability to better understand what is here within/as looking at the details, and even within education - give myself the ability to better understand the material that I am learning within being patient with myself in each breath - allowing myself to focus on the details, focus on the specificity of each word that is being spoken/read in this giving myself a better chance at understanding the material - same goes for anything in this world - and in this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hope and want to get by within this world without being absolutely specific and detailed within my application within this world - hoping that I have enough general information and/or knowledge or living capacity within me to manage to squeak by in this world without putting in a lot of effort to live and survive
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that patience is something that I am able to develop within/as my living application within this world through/as allowing myself to give myself time and effort to be here with myself in breath and let go of the accumulation of thoughts and hopes and wants and fears within the mind to allow myself to bring myself back here in breath and remain here in breath with focus and specificity within that which I am doing - giving myself the ability to take absolute responsibility within/as focus and attention and specificity as I stop participation within the mind and bring myself back here in breath