Monday, November 26, 2012
Day 227 - Diabetes and Suicide Part 3
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fail to see that within the act of committing suicide one is stating in absolution that they are not willing to live within responsibility for that which self has created unto self and thus within my consideration of suicide when I face a point of limitation within my reality I am stating that I am not responsible for myself within the limitation and consequently decide to not support myself within what is best for all within the limitation giving myself no value as life itself because of the abdication of responsibility and by stating that I am not going to walk through this to give myself life within the limitation through the consideration and thought process to end my life
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fail to see that when/as considering suicide due to an unfairness within the system I am thus accepting that unfairness as a living statement of what is in this world - meaning that I abdicate any and all responsibility to change the limitation and unfairness in this world by/as considering suicide and give myself no value as life to commit myself in walking through the limitation into a point within the world system to stand in a point of change within the limitation so that all others in this world are not treated unfairly but with equality in being given that which is needed to live unconditionally across all borders, because similarly there are diabetics in impoverished countries whom have diabetes as well and the extent of limitation of support within those countries is a point of extremity wherein similarly here - they only have coverage up to a certain age, but the availability of a job giving benefits is slim to none and there are no plans of insurance, nor the ability to pay for them, for support of themselves within diabetes - and thus if I were to commit suicide I would abdicate the responsibility across the globe to respond to this atrocity to life within the insurance systems and medical institutions where life is only valued by the dollar sign, where life is only given if one is able to give back dollars - I would not be able to word myself here in the physical reality, not stand within words because I would absolutely lose my voice, lose my sound if I were to end my life giving myself no opportunity to speak up about this complete disregard for life across the globe.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fail to see how selfish, how self-interested the act of suicide is because if I were to end my life I give myself no opportunity in this one life to make a change anywhere within the current system that we live within that does not support life unconditionally, but only supports life on the one condition of money, and if I were to commit suicide there would be no change, no opportunity for myself to stand within a change for all other diabetics in this within speaking up against the atrocities that exist in the programs and institutions that limit and hinder the ability for diabetics to give themselves the medication they need to survive
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that in this life that is currently being lived by us in this system, created by us in/as this system, that life is not of value and thus when/as I face a point wherein my life is not valued, give into that belief of myself not being of value as life in this system and consider suicide in this world, not giving myself the ability to value myself as life and not giving myself the ability to value all life, abdicating all points of responsibility to give myself value as life and abdicate responsibility to walk through/within the limitations in value as life - giving myself the opportunity to change within the limitations the value of money into the value of life by/as responding within the limitations the absolute disregard for life through the value of money
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not give myself the response ability to walk within the limitations in response to the disregard for life by allowing the thoughts and consideration of suicide to enter the mind and myself whereby I state that I too disregard life by 1 taking my life and 2 not giving life back to life within standing in that point of disregard for life within valuing myself as life and thus all life and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fail to realize that when/as I stand in the value of myself as life, I will walk unconditionally within the limitations that hinder life and stand for a point of change within those limitations such as examples within the production and availability for medications for diabetics across the globe, and such as with the necessity of insurance plans or benefit programs to be able to assist with the monetary support of the medications and tools that diabetics need daily to not die, and that in this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to consider suicide when/as I found out that I would have no benefits and no insurance program to be able to assist and support myself as life within diabetes, failing to give myself the responsibility in that one moment to commit myself to absolutely stopping the point of needing an external institution to assist in the ability to give oneself the medications and tools that we as diabetics need to support ourselves as life in this world by/as deciding upon myself in that one moment to get myself to a point in this reality where I am able to contribute and support a point of change within the entirety of the system within money so that insurance programs and benefit coverage become irrelevant to how we life on Earth - because it is an absolute atrocity that diabetics and all others whom need insurance must pay insurance companies, or slave themselves within a job that offers benefit coverage in order to support themselves as life within diabetes
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fail to realize that suicide is not an answer to the limitations that we've accepted ourselves to live within/as this world system - it is only a abdication of responsibility for what we've collectively individually accepted this world and our lives to become through our choices and decisions and living actions and that suicide when acted upon, is the living statement of I don't accept this for myself but I still accept it for all others still living and thus it is not giving as one would like to receive nor considering all others in this world as equals - and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize the want to not live in this world the way that it is is able to be changed from the selfish act of suicide into a birthing of life wherein one commits oneself to not accept nor live within the context of how we live today and decides within their living statements to do what is best for all in changing the way we live into a way that is best for all life, and thus within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not take this point of suicide within me, take this point of not wanting to live within this world and within these limitations and walk within it, changing myself within it from a point of suicide/taking my own life, into giving life, giving life the way that I would like to live within this system - without the limitations and barriers placed upon each life through the application of money, changing the point of suicide into that which is best for all, by living within the want to not live within the system, committing myself to walking myself into/as a point and support and contribution to change within this system that we live within.
I commit myself to when/as I am facing a point of limitation in my life wherein I feel treated completely unfairly due to living with diabetes - to not allow myself to go into a point of suicide but to take that anger within me and work with myself in it to make sure that I align myself to a point within this reality wherein I support and contribute to a cause in this reality wherein that limitation will become irrelevant to all beings living on Earth - for example with the insurance institutions and benefit programs becoming irrelevant within creating the Equal Money System in this reality
I commit myself to changing the point of suicide from the want to not live within the limitations that are persistent in this reality into aligning myself to the system in walking myself in/as a point of change within myself into a point of value of myself as life within not committing suicide and within walking a point of change within the system wherein I contribute my fair share in giving my effort into/as creating a system in that which life is valued such as within the Equal Money System, and take the point of suicide/not wanting to live in this world within the absolute atrocities and limitations within being a diabetic and use that point within me to change this system and not `take the easy way out` with suicide - in this giving myself the responsibility for myself within this system and change myself within this system and align myself to walking within this system in/as a constant point of change into value of life
I commit myself to aligning myself to walking the limitations within diabetes - aligning myself to what is best for all within the limitations and to accordingly give myself responsibility for/as the limitations and in this I commit myself to show that through the Equal money system - insurance companies and benefit programs will be unnecessary because all that will be needed by every human will be provided unconditionally based on humans working in equality with each other in support of what is best for all life.
I commit myself to changing the point of wanting to end this life that I lead from suicide into practical activism wherein I dedicate myself to walking with change in the limitations that exist in this reality in regards to being able to pay for medications and managing of myself within the system to best give myself a life of dignity and all others dignity in equality