Tuesday, December 4, 2012
Day 235 - Restructuring MySelf
On listening to the step 5 quantum mind series it was noted that the mind loves a habitual life because the body becomes programmed and essentially can walk the habits and patterns while the mind takes over and creates thoughts while the physical is walking the same patterns and habits.
In my life I walk a very habitual lifestyle wherein day in day out it is the same patterns and actions repeated ad nauseam and thus as I work I will think a lot and have many random thoughts coming up while I am absolutely unaware of myself here in the physical in that which I am physically participating in. I've noticed this for a while because I can do my job now without being aware in a single breath the entire night due to the patterns and habits that I've formed at work and throughout each and every day that I live - wherein the drive to and from work has become patterned and habit - wherein the time that I leave for work, when I make lunch for work, what I do at work, the drive home, what I do when I get home, the drive to school, what I do within school, and what I do when I again return home has become an absolute pattern and habit based on time and within this I basically allow the mind free reign over myself as I live through these habits and patterns because all that I do is stored within knowledge within/as the patterns and habits that I live wherein I know what I will be doing from one moment to the next without having to `think` about it - allowing myself to give the mind free reign over myself in the physical as I allow the body to basically run on auto pilot while the mind starts to bring up a lot of thoughts pertaining to specific personalities.
The patterns and habits that I have formed I resist letting go of - resist restructuring myself in/as my life in how I live it day to day because within the resistance within the mind - the mind does not want to have to form itself to a new structure and thus myself being within the mind believe that I resist re-structuring my daily habits and patterns. For example - at work I work hard so that I can use the incentive program wherein I get paid more money for doing more work and as I look at myself within working like this I've put a lot of pressure and stress on the body, especially the back - associated to the backchat that I have at work - while I work this way. I look at the point of working in order to support the body wherein I pick up a case in awareness of myself here in the body and picking it up properly in order to support the body in not creating any unnecessary harm and the thought comes up that I will lose out on so much money that I could be making by allowing myself to keep the same working habits and patterns that I've allowed - even within the structure of how I start my day - wherein I know what order I will be starting with and as I consider the idea of not starting the day with the same order, I react in fear of not knowing what I will be getting and may have to work on an order that is `more difficult` than the one that I usually start my day with which is all resistance to restructuring what I live within in regards to the patterns and habits of my daily living wherein I will need some awareness of myself here in the physical to be aware of what I am doing as I restructure myself in my day to day living because it will not be within the knowledge data base within the mind of `this is how the day is going to go` and within this I see the that frustration and anger when things do not work the way that the mind has planned it to go is related to the fact that when/as things are not on `autopilot` the mind cannot use the energy and personalities when on auto pilot to further infuse and structure said personalities within the thought design of the structures.
What I've done within this is become so accustomed to the pattern and habits that I live that I am rarely aware of when/as I participate in the mind within backchat while at work, while in the drive to work, while in any day to day living action that I do within the pattern/habit and I've allowed myself to become accustomed to myself in backchatting within the mind within the patterns and habits that I live day to day. And thus I see that within a point to assist and support myself within - I can take a different route to work for a while - 21 days - and apply myself in 21 days of not living the exact same patterns and habits while I am at work - obviously there are points within the structure and habits that are assisting and supportive of myself within diabetes within which I will not alter or change because they are working well for the time being - but simple points such as the drive to work, something that I am resisting, I can change for 21 days and the simple point of not signing into the same order at the start of work for 21 days I can change that will assist me within/as work, and the change of not picking (what my job is called) for money, but picking in awareness of myself within the body in/as support for the back and the body itself I can change for 21 days as I am not reliant of the extra money that I receive but only want the extra money because the possibility exists and I have the physical stamina and capacity to pick at a rate that allows me to receive extra money - and simple point in changing my habits and patterns within what I will eat or when I will eat to better support myself within time, such as restructuring the time that I eat so that I do not go to sleep within an hour of eating or restructuring the time that I sleep so that I can eat at the same time yet still assist and support myself in not going to bed with a full stomach which has shown in the blood glucose readings that I do in the morning to not be what is best for me within diabetes.
So this is the start to restructuring myself in the daily habits and patterns that I live and investigate what is best for myself as life within the patterns and habits that I live and restructure myself into creating patterns and habits that I live that are best for life and I will continue in the next post with self forgiveness statements