Wednesday, December 5, 2012

Day 236 - Restructuring Myself Part 2


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to resist changing my structured living and even questioning whether or not the structure that I am living is what is best for me as life, but to continue on living within the same accepted and allowed patterns internally and externally where I - throughout my day will participate in the same structured format both internally and externally without much of a change due to the acceptance from me within resisting making an effective change within the structure that I live within into what is best for all life

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to follow the thoughts in which the same structure exists such as when to blog - when to go to work - what to do when I get to work - how to work - what to do when I get home from work - what to do when I get to school - and within keeping the same thought structure pertaining to myself in the external world that I participate in - accept the same internal thought structure about the same types of thoughts regarding sex, money, personalities, who I am in relation to this point in life etc - without an effective stance from myself in breath to put an end to the same accepted and allowed thought structure through the acceptance and allowance of the one thought pertaining to what I will do and when I will do it in which I allow, within the time between each point of what where and when - to think about the same thoughts regarding who I am and the personalities that I define myself within through the thoughts and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not put an end to the same structure that I allow within my external living by/as stopping the one thought(s) that tell me to do this and when and where to do it and how to do it - and within this to create myself within that which I do in every breath - not following a pre-designed structure based on thought/feeling/emotion but being here with myself in breath and within self direction within breath

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that the resistance experienced within the mind regarding changing the structure that I've accepted and allowed for some time is the fear of letting go of the knowledge of what will come each day and who I will be within it each day - resistance towards not being able to develop and further create the personalities that exist within the mind as I change the structure that I live within wherein the body is not programmed to follow the same patterns over and over again which allows the mind to basically run free within the developed patterns and habits that have been programmed into the body and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to control the mind within the starting point of/as changing my structured living instead of standing equal and one with the mind in understanding how it functions within structure and repeated patterns and habits to do what is best for myself as life here in the physical - wherein through understanding how the mind likes and wants repeated structure and how it uses the structure to continue to fuel itself through the consumption of the physical to do that which is best for life here within the physical while I walk through myself in the mind within the accepted and allowed structured that have been created as the personalities and characters that exist within each thought dimension that I allow within myself as I walk the same structure externally - and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that by/as changing myself within who I am in regards to the mind and what I accept from myself in the mind I will equal and one change my living habits within the external accordingly and that I cannot just change the external within the hope that it will lead to a catalyst to who I am within the mind and suddenly change and stop the accepted and allowed thought patterns and personalities - and thus within this I realize that I equal and one within the mind and within the external living change both who I am within the mind and what I accept within my external reality into that which is best for all and that I cannot change one and hope for the other to follow suit but must be responsible for myself in both the external and internal realities of myself in changing the structure that I accept and allow into that which is best for all life externally and for myself internally

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that the resistance towards changing my accepted and allowed structure of living pertains to the mind and the want to hold onto the `who I am` within the mind and that as I start to change myself in my physical accepted and allowed behaviour through stopping the thoughts that tell me when and where to do what I will in turn give myself the ability and opportunity to walk an effective change within that which I accept and allow that is the structure of the personalities and give myself the ability to restructure myself and create myself into that which is best for all life here in the physical reality - and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that I've been within the mind the entire time and have accepted and allowed the mind to dictate that which I will participate in when, where, what and how - because each and every physical action that I've done has originated from a thought and not myself here in breath in awareness of myself in the physical and the needs of the physical - but have always come from a pattern of thoughts that are personalities and characters wherein the one thought that I have that tells me that I will work hard and fast at work so that I can make more money - and as I accept that thought - allows the mind to take over and essentially use the resources of the physical to further create thoughts as I am working hard and fast to fuel the pre-existing personalities that I've created in my formation years - and further integrate the personalities as I accept the backchat and thoughts that exist through the one acceptance of the thought of working hard and fast while I am at work.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that it is the one thought that I participate in in which the structure exists within the external reality - the thought that suggests to go to sleep at this time or to wake up at this time or to go to work when or how to work etc that I need to focus on and stop my participation within because it is that one thought that will lead me to creating and keeping the structure in which I accept and allow the exact same personality structure throughout the day or time that I participate in that one thought in which the external structure is laid out and formulated and that I must be aware of myself in accepting myself in participating in that one thought and accordingly stop and direct myself within that one thought into that which is best for myself as life within the internal and that which is best for all life within the external

I commit myself to being aware of the one thought in which I accept and allow wherein I dictate that which I will do within a moment - what I will do, how I will do it, where I will do it, why I will do it etc, and within the one thought - not just accept that which it is telling me to do but breathe and learn how to direct myself without that one thought - learn how to direct myself in all moments with breath wherein the focus is myself here in the physical and the needs and requirements of the physical

I commit myself to restructuring my day to day living within consideration of what is best for myself as life within participation within the mind and what is best for all life within my participation within the physical reality - wherein the consideration of myself within the mind is that which I am accepting and allowing myself to participate within each single thought that I allow that dictates what, when, where, how I will do what I do - and consider the physical - consider the needs and requirements of the body and not only the thought within what I will or will not do - and within this I commit myself to walking through the resistance to restructuring myself in my day to day living within taking a different route to work - in working with the consideration of the physical and the capacity of the physical body within what is best for it within working a physical job - within the habits and patterns that I have developed within consuming coffee and food - and in this to make a change to myself within the internal by/as stopping the thoughts such as `I would like a coffee now` or `I am going to get ready for work now` `or this is how I will work today` etc and through stopping these thoughts understand how I've always been a slave to the dictator that I've created myself as within the mind and within understanding how I've accepted and allowed myself to be a slave to these single thoughts that will allow the mind to have the structure and patterns it needs to further create thoughts that will further create the personality and character systems to give myself back my direction of myself within the physical and within breath here as life for real - not the illusion of life that I've been living within the thought patterns and systematic structures of who/what/where/when I will do what and be who

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I commit myself to being patient with myself in this because I realize that I've never practically applied myself within the consideration of the physical here in breath and assessing the requirements and needs of the physical but only ever dictated myself within the physical through accepting the one thought(s) wherein I dictate what I will do and whom I will be within a specific given moment and to within giving myself patience walk with steadfastness in continuous application of stopping the thoughts when they arise within me and to within this as I find myself participating in a lot of thoughts and structures of personalities to slow myself down and look at where/when I accepted the one thought that I've dictated who I will be within the accepted and allowed patterns and habits that I live and forgive myself for participating in that one thought and accordingly bring myself back here and restructure myself within consideration of the physical here in breath.

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