Sunday, December 16, 2012

Day 246 - 21 Days of Self Application - Stress and Resistance Thought Dimension


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to, when a thought of resistance comes up wherein it suggests to go do something else rather than work on that which I am resistance, to say no within the mind, wherein I resist the resistance, separating myself from the resistance and separating myself from living the solution of/as working on the thing in which I am resisting in immediacy by breathing through the thought suggesting that I do something else other than that which I am resisting - breathing through the thought, letting it pass through me, and allowing it to dissipate within the body, not allowing myself to react to the resistance by/as reacting within the thought of `no` as I face resistance

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that thinking the word `no` when I face a point of resistance is not a solution to myself within the resistance because as I speak the word `no` within the mind, think the word `no` within the mind, I am separating myself from facing the resistance and walking myself through the resistance and separating myself from/as the point in which I am resisting, not allowing myself to move through the point in which I am resisting with clarity of myself in/as the decision and choice to move through that which I am resisting under my own will, but only allowing myself to push myself within a point of separation as I act on that thought of `no I will not resist` which is resistance itself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that the best solution for myself within resistance is to breathe when the thought of smoking, or having coffee, or taking a shower, or studying, or doing laundry, or doing another task comes up within the mind, breathing within/as the thought and not reacting to the thought, allowing it to pass through the body and not stick to the body and live within/as the thought of the resistance, in this breathing and not thinking the thought `no I will not resist` stop placing myself under stress as I walk through the resistance

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that this separation of myself within thinking the thought `no I will not resist` is where and how I place myself under stress as I walk through the resistance because within thinking the thought `no I will not resist` I am separating myself from myself in/as walking the point of responsibility that I am resisting, instead of allowing myself to be here with myself within the point of responsibility walking it for myself, because as the thought of `no I will not resist` comes up I am thus then walking the point of responsibility for another point other than myself here within what is best for myself allowing the stress to be created as I walk the point because I am causing a conflict within myself in regards to walking the point of responsibility in which I am resisting by allowing myself to separate myself from the resistance in/as thinking the thought `no I will not resist` and by allowing myself to then walk the point of responsibility not for myself within what is best for me as life, but for another point that is within the thought of `no I will not resist` which has been more often than not, living the point of responsibility for the perception and definition of myself as responsible, and walking the point of responsibility for/as another person

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think about the people whom I will be `letting down` if I resist, and in this think the thought `no I will not resist, because I must do this for them` not realizing/seeing/understanding that the point of responsibility is for myself to walk for myself within the understanding/realization that if/as/when I walk the point of responsibility for me I will not place myself under stress because it is not within the definition of `having to for another person` but willing myself to walk it for me in which I apply self will and not the pressure of stress by walking it for another person

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that it is best for me to walk the point of responsibility for myself and not for/as another person within the separation of myself from them, and in this to walk the point of responsibility for myself standing in equality with another person, not separating myself from them or from myself within the definition of having to walk the point of responsibility in which I am resisting

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think the thought that `I have to blog`, `I have to do homework`, `I have to study`, `I have to do laundry`, `I have to take responsibility for myself`, separating myself from myself in the self willed application of myself in/as walking the points of responsibility for myself through placing it within the definition of `having to` wherein I separate myself from myself in the application of self will by pushing and forcing myself to do that which I believe I `have` to, in this not realizing that as I do it for myself in/as the application of self will by stopping the thoughts of having to and stopping the reaction to the resistance within the `no I have to`, or `no I will not resist`, I allow myself to be here within walking the point of responsibility with myself, for myself, and not under or within stress as I walk it for another point/person/separate point

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to push myself and force myself to walk the points of responsibility that I have defined within the thought and definition of `having to` wherein I create a force and pressure within myself to force myself to walk the point of responsibility that I am separating myself from wherein which I create the stress upon myself, and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not change the thought of `I have to do ___` into I will do it, I will apply myself within that ___ and in this not allow the separation of myself within the thought of having to wherein I will consequently allow the thoughts of wanting to do something else within the resistance by defining it has `having to` in this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that I've been creating the stress all along by defining everything that I am doing within the words of `having to`, wherein I refuse to realize that as I walk that which I `have to do` and change it into `I will do` I stop myself in separating myself from walking the point here for myself by allowing myself to breathe through the thought of `I have to` and placing it as I will do. In this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that as I think the thought of `I have to do ____` I consequently allow the thoughts of `when/where/how I will do ____` and as I think the thoughts of `when/where/how` I allow stress to occur because I am placing a point in time within the mind of when I will do it and as I walk the time previous to the time that I have accepted within the mind I allow myself to build up stress and accumulate stress as I get closer to that time.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that when/as I create a point of time of when/where/how I will work on that which I am resisting, what I am wanting to do in that moment is continue to live within self interest before the time comes that I've set up within the mind and within the structure of time of when I will work on that responsibility in which I am resisting, and as I am living within that self interest, build up stress within myself in placing the pressure of time on myself within the mind each time that I think about that which I am resisting and think about how much time I have left to spare before I `have to` get to work on that which I am resisting and not wanting to do

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not breathe through the thought of consideration of what I `have to do` within a day, breathe and let that thought pass me and bring myself back here within the immediate physical reality within that which I am doing in a moment, like walking, being here with my feet on the ground, breathing with the air in the environment, or focusing on studying and learning the material in class, or focusing on the body in/as the physical movements while I work, and stop myself in making points in time within the mind where I think `this is when I will do ____`, stopping myself from separating myself from actually doing it, because I see and realize that if I were actually going to do it within the point of self willed application I do not need the thought wherein I create a time and place of when/where I will do that which I am resisting and that which I have separated myself from within the definition of `have to` because I, within the self willed application of myself within the point in which I am resisting, I will simply do it when the opportunity is available, which I see is never when I am thinking about it - such as within work where I will think about when/how I will get to homework after school but that thought is absolutely irrelevant to what I am physically practically able to do with myself at work, because I cannot study nor work on homework as I am at work

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think about what I `have to do` when I am not within the ability of doing it, allowing myself to separate myself here from the immediate physical reality and place myself within a delusion of self will through thinking thoughts about `this is when I will do ____` and `this is how I will do ____` or `when I come home from school I am going to immediately start working on this blog` not realizing that all these points within thought are within a separation of myself in the application of self will, because I wouldn't need to think about doing them if I were going to do them in the application of myself in self will

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that by applying self will within that which I've defined within `having to do` I put to rest immediately the separation and stress associated to `having to do`, by placing the point here within myself and committing myself to completing it within the day - not needing to make a time for me to complete it or work on it by committing myself to it

I commit myself to when/as I have the thought pertaining to `having to do ___` to stop and breathe here and place it here as myself and committing myself to willing myself to do it, stating within myself I will do it within self honesty, and to stop the stress and pressure placed upon me by accepting the point of `having to do ___` and in this stop separating myself from the actions needed here in the physical reality to complete or work on the point

I commit myself to stop creating pressure and stress upon myself by stopping the separation from myself within living for another point/being as I live the points of responsibility in my reality, stop myself from walking something for someone else, and in this I commit myself to learning how to live for myself within equality and oneness as I walk any point of responsibility, learning how to live it here for myself in the application of self will, without the need to place pressure and stress on myself by allowing myself to associate walking to point of responsibility for someone else

I commit myself to when/as I am in resistance towards a point and I am stressing myself out over getting it done because of a thought process in separation of myself from living the point here as myself in the physical reality, to take a step back from working on the responsibility that I am resisting, breathe and look at what/how I am living the point of responsibility within the having to definition, and in this take a moment to myself to realign myself to walking the point for myself here in equality and oneness with all else that is here, not living it for another person/point in separation of myself, but living it here for myself in/as equality and oneness wherein I consider myself and others equally within walking the point of responsibility - not living solely for myself in/as separation from other nor living the point for other in separation from myself but within equality and oneness

I commit myself to learning how to walk points of responsibility for myself by initially stopping the thoughts regarding the having to walk the resistance because ____, and bringing the point of walking the responsibility back here to myself and in this realizing what/how it is best for me to walk this point for myself and accordingly will myself to walk the point, will not within separation, but within myself here in/as the agreement and choice within myself to walk the point of resistance here for myself

I commit myself to living this point of working through the resistance of responsibility or resistance to change completely by being steadfast in my application of stopping the thoughts of `having to` stopping myself from participating in the thoughts of `having to` stopping the stress I place myself under by accepting the thoughts, and accordingly change the nature of those thoughts from separation into equality with myself here by stating that I will work on the point that I `have to do` and leave it at that - not creating a time or date of when/where/how in which I allow myself to continuously think about the time and when/where/how and as I state that I will apply myself within it bring myself back here in focus on that which I am doing at the moment dropping the thought of when/where/how by not participating in it through stating within myself that I will work on it.

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