Monday, December 31, 2012

Day 257 - 21 Days of Self Application - Falling for Energy Part 2


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to idolize the energy within the mind, the energy that I create within the mind from consuming the physical substance of/as myself as life, and in this idolization, move into energy when it is presented without a `second thought`, a consideration of what I will be participating in and doing to myself as life within the body

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become blinded by energy when it is presented to me within a thought or feeling in which I can generate energy from and instead of looking at the thought, seeing the thought, finding out where within my past I've allowed this thought to exist within/as me through memories, jump into that thought and attempt to manifest the energy within the thought within the idea that I believe will bring, give me energy or positivity or happiness and in this sabotage myself as life by disregarding myself as life and only considering myself as a machine that consumes energy and wants to generate energy, and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be a machine that only consumes and generates energy, looks for the next high within life, and not consider life itself within/as the use and manifestation of energy

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to lose focus on myself in breath as the temptation to move into energy presents itself, to place more value within energy than on myself as life in/as my living capacity and capabilities of/as life and giving/living myself in/as life in a way that supports the best life for myself in my living conditions such as within diabetes, schooling, educating myself, considering the foods that I eat - in this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to place more value on energy, on the `profits` within money, positivity, happiness, that I get form participating on energy rather than seeing what the real value is in life which is life itself, rather than living within the real value which is life itself - in this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see the real value of/as life because I've accepted energy as value energy as purpose which only ever fades away over time, when with life - life stays, life remains as value

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to value something that is not real - energy, and to fool myself into believing that it has value through allowing myself to follow the illusions that are presented to me within the mind that suggest to follow certain acts = spending money, masturbating, following relationships/sex, only allowing myself to in fact become and live as an illusion.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not work with the mind within the temptation of energy in the realization of who I am within the mind in relationship to energy - working with myself within the mind through applying myself in the realization of what energy is when I am tempted to follow the thoughts that lead to/manifest energy from consuming the physical, applying myself by looking at the thought that tempts me with energy and stop myself from following the illusion of energy by clearly seeing what it is that I am looking at - what it is that I would participate in if I follow that thought and stopping myself from allowing myself to be blind to what that temptation is actually presenting and what I would be living within if I were to follow that energy

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fail to realize what energy is when the temptation to participate in energy is presented to myself within the mind within thoughts/feelings/emotions/beliefs - fail to realize that the energy is only an illusion and would only exist for only a moment in living and that when/as I am through with that energy - when I've participated in the act that is presented to manifest energy, it disappears after a few moments, showing that it is only an illusion - within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ignore myself within energy and allow the illusion of energy to direct myself - to direct myself within the illusion of energy - to ignore the fact that the energy will only last so long and allow myself to fool myself into following the energy for only but a momentary high - in this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize what I will be doing with myself when participating in the energy and I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not value myself as life through participating in the temptation for energy

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fall into the temptation to participate in energy and allow myself to ignore any consequences of my actions when participating in energy, ignore what I am doing to myself in life, ignore what I am allowing within all life, ignore the fact that I have a responsibility to change myself within my participation within energy to support a life that is best for all

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to look for something that is `fun` to participate in, and as I look for something `fun` to particiapte in allow myself to tempt myself with energy through looking for something that I will get energy from or use energy within, and to within this not realize that it is my decision to look for something that is fun and/or entertaining that leads me into the path of temptation to participate in energy

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to abuse and mistreat myself as life and life on the whole by allowing myself to not consider life while I participate in energy - and only consider the energy that I am creating and using through my participating in the mind - only consider myself and self interest as I allow myself to participate, create, and consume energy from participation within the mind in thoughts/feelings/emotions

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fail to consider myself and what I am allowing myself to become and what relationships I am allowing myself to form through my acceptance and participation within energy, fail to consider how my participation within energy is going to effect who I am and what I allow myself to become and create myself as

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be so foolish to allow myself to attempt to continue to participate in energy in believing that there will be no repercussions from my participation and allowance within energy - and in this belief allow myself to blind myself from seeing myself in self honesty of who I've allowed myself to become and what I am accepting and allowing to exist within myself and this world within my participation within energy, thoughts, words, and deeds

I commit myself to when/as being presented with the idea and want to participate in energy to bring myself back to breath, and if I react to the thought/want to participate in the thought to breathe through the reaction as well and to clearly look at myself and what I am accepting and allowing myself to become and live within/as

I commit myself to stop myself from allowing myself to tempt myself to participate in energy by taking responsibility for the actions that I participate in that trigger myself to accept the thoughts that lead to the temptation and want for more energy within participating in specific acts such as masturbation, consuming candy, entertaining myself by playing video games or watching series - and within this I commit myself to stop avoiding facing myself and who/what I've allowed myself to become - stop avoiding myself by stopping participating in the desire and want to manifest more and more energy and when/as the point of temptation to participate in energy comes up - to sit down with myself and be here with myself in breath to bring myself back to myself and out of the separation of myself within energy

I commit myself to stopping myself from tempting myself by stop waiting and `wasting` time, wherein as I wait I allow myself to participate in the mind within thoughts and energy and look for ways to indulge in something fun and/or entertaining when waiting for myself to make the decision to do something and/or support myself as life - within this I commit myself to give myself back to myself within time and use time to be here with myself in breath and within the body

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