Friday, January 4, 2013

Day 261 - 21 Days of Self Application - Awareness in Blood Sugar Management Part 2

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not be aware of how much food that I am eating in a given meal, be aware in the context of actually looking at the amount of food that I am eating and/or weighing out the amount of food that I am eating to be able to effectively count the carbs that the body will be turning into sugar and utilizing, but to only eat until my stomach is full and then look back at how much I've ate during the meal and then consider how much insulin that I need to do, not allowing myself to maintain effective management of the sugar levels due to my lack of awareness of myself previously to consuming the meal - lack of awareness in the context of being here with myself and the body and looking at what and how much food the body requires and can effectively utilize without the blood sugar going too high and accordingly eat to what the body requires and can utilize in regards to primarily the carbohydrates and sugars within the meal and all other nutrients within the food that I will be consuming

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to entice myself with the idea of consuming candy wherein when the picture of candy comes up within the mind, I allow myself to fall back into the relationship that I have developed with candy over my formative years of absolute desire and pleasure within consuming candy, and to within this allow myself to rush to make that picture of candy and consuming candy and the happiness/pleasure of consuming candy a reality by allowing myself to find the nearest source of high amounts of sugar and consume the candy/high amount of sugar without absolute awareness and consideration of the life and health of the body and what I will be doing to the body within the consumption of the sugar and candy - and within this to not, if I allow myself to consume the candy, inject an appropriate amount of insulin and weight out/count carbs within the food and then look at whether or not I will have extra insulin within the body from previous injection and whether or not physical exercise will be assisting the body in the sensitivity of the insulin and accordingly inject insulin for the amount of candy that I will be consuming, within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when/as the picture presentation of candy exists within the mind along with the associated relationship towards candy, one of happiness and positivity and pleasure, try and fill that illusion of energy/positivity/happiness by consuming as much candy as I possibly can, sometimes to the point of feeling absolutely ill, instead of breathing within the picture of candy and the promise of energy within living the thought out, and within breathing allow myself to become the directive principle within myself in the desire to consume large quantities of candy giving myself the ability to choose what is best for life and health of the body and not be overwhelmed or allow myself to fuck with myself within the promise of energy/happiness/pleasure when the picture of candy along with the associated relationship to energy by consuming candy comes up within the mind

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not consider limiting the amounts of food that I eat in order to be able to better manage the sugar levels of the body by allowing myself to not need to inject high amounts of insulin, and within this stop the blood sugar from rising too high after consuming the food, and accordingly stop the feeling of going low and the fatigue that a drop in the sugar level brings when the insulin reaches its peak rate of effectiveness, within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to eat how ever much I feel like eating, and eat until I feel full, when in reality the feeling of being full has many factors to adjust to, such as boredom, receiving the proper amounts of nutrients from various food sources, and thus if I do not get the proper amounts of nutrients from various food sources and/or if I feel bored at a moment and I allow myself to eat until I am full without consideration of these factors, I will allow myself to consume far too much food to attempt to fill the void of the nutrients, and/or the boredom I experience within a given moment, causing myself to abuse the body due to high amounts of consumption of food and carbs that lack the proper nutrients that the body needs and thus accordingly need to inject a large amount of insulin which will bring the sugar down rapidly once insulin reaches its peak rate and cause myself to feel fatigued and as if I am having a hypoglycemic episode when in fact I may not be - thus within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not limit the amount of food that I eat within a given meal and accordingly make sure that each meal that I eat has a variety of foods and nutrients so that I am supporting the body in receiving the proper amounts of nutrients to calm any hunger that I may feel after consuming the food

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not pace myself through a meal, pace myself by allowing myself to taste every bite that I take of the food, every sip of the liquid that I drink and really feel the food in the mouth, on the tongue, the mulching of the food with the teeth, and in this take my time throughout the meal to give he body the ability to tell me when it is in fact full and accordingly stop eating food, and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to rush through a meal and eat as fast as I can, get as much taste at one time as I can, in this allow myself to eat too much too quickly allowing myself to eat more than the body can handle and in this slow down the digestion rate as the body attempts to move digest a large amount of food at once

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to consume food from the point of desire wherein I do not look at how much I am eating, what I am eating, what the body needs, If I will be exercising later or if I have previously exercised, how much insulin I will need, how much carbs are in the food that I will be eating, and within this ignore and not give myself the awareness needed to effectively manage, stand equal to, support of myself within diabetes and the health of the body within diabetes

I commit myself to when I am about to eat to take a moment and be here with the body and look at what nutrients the body needs, if I've done exercise and whether or not that will still be affecting the insulin sensitivity, if there are any stresses that I've gone through/am going through, if my daily pattern has changed, if my environment has changed, and in this give myself the overall awareness needed to be here with the body as life and consider the life of the body and what I can do to support the best life possible for myself within the body and the life of the body itself

I commit myself to pace myself through a meal, eating slowly, making sure that I chew my food, and not allow myself to rush through eating food to get to push myself through time, such as within work - thus I commit myself to when at work, not rush myself in the time that I have on break to consume the food that I've made as fast as possible and to be here with myself and the food and eat at a pace that will not cause a feeling of being bloated, and in this chew the food enough and get enough saliva in the mouth and onto the food to assist the stomach with the digestion process

I commit myself to start to portion my meals better, and in this limit the amount of carbs that I will have during a meal to stop the blood sugar from rising rapidly and then falling rapidly as the food starts to digest and then as the insulin reaches it peak rate to give myself an easier time at managing post meal spikes and the drop rate of sugar from the insulin

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