Tuesday, January 15, 2013

Day 271 - I want to Live a Normal Life - Diabetics Perspective Part 3


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that within the statement "I want to live a normal life" I am saying that I want to take what I want from life, I want to have what I want from life, and that I will never be `happy` until I take what I want from life, in this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not consider what I can give to life, what I am able to give with myself being here in this world to give life back to life instead of taking life from life

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not stand equal and one within the consideration of the body's processes that go into digestion and balance of sugar levels within diabetes, and through standing equal and one with the processes of insulin, sugar consumption/levels, and the factors that go into digestion for/as support of life, give myself the consideration and care to give myself quality of life within diabetes, give myself a dignified life through accepting that diabetes is now going to be a main part of my life as it is going to affect all that I do and in all that I do I will have to consider myself within diabetes, and thus it will not be a `normal` life, within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that accepting that I have diabetes and I now have a responsibility for care and management of the body and it's health, will give myself the opportunity to understand what the body goes through on a daily basis to provide ourselves with life, and how through our actions within the consumption of food without awareness/consideration of the bodies processes and/or state that it is in we've been abusive to all life, and that this want for a `normal` life is to return to not needing to consider/be aware of the body in all moments of our lives and return to being abusive within the lack of awareness/consideration of the body

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take from life through the want to experience/live a normal life, not realizing that as I state I want to live a normal life, care free, I am stating that I do not want to have to consider the body, take care of myself within diabetes, give myself the responsibility for management and care of myself within diabetes, and thus I am stating that I want to remain abusive in relationship to the body, instead of taking the opportunity that has been provided through the disease of diabetes to consider/be aware/get to know the body and it's functions and in being aware/considering/getting to know the processes of the body change myself within my lived actions/habits to support what is best for life in/as health of the body and in this give quality of life to myself, and give quality of life to the body within/as standing equal and one to the responsibilities of standing in for the pancreas and/or hormone of insulin

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fail to realize that through the want to have a normal life, to not have diabetes affect my life and how I live, I am stating that I do not want to see or be aware of the processes of the body and I do not be responsible for myself within the body, I do not want to see the limitations imposed onto people through monetary means, I do not want to be aware of the life that is here and what/how we are living, I want to go back into the `normal` state of living without awareness of the body and/or systems that we are living in, and want to remain unaware of what/how we are living, what/how I've lived in relationship to the body and how I've never before considered the body and it's processes of digestion, sugar metabolism, sugar use, and the processes that go into balancing the sugar levels, and return to a state of unawareness wherein I do not need to be aware that I am directly responsible for what/how the body functions and processes the food that I consume

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that within wanting a normal life for myself, I am wanting to not be responsible for the care and support of the body within giving myself proper care for myself within diabetes, and in this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to NOT stand equal and one to the care of myself within diabetes, to not give myself care/consideration/awareness of myself and the body within my relationship to the body by giving myself the responsibility and standing equal and one to the responsibility for the management of health of the body within the balancing of sugar levels through proper, effective care of myself within diabetes

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that within wanting a normal life and attempting to avoid facing who I am within relationship to the body and how I've lived in relationship to the body, I am stating that I want to be self-destructive towards the body, be abusive towards the body by not looking at who and what I am and doing within/as the body and the consequences my actions have on the body, and want to take from the body's support for myself here as life within the physical instead of giving back the care and support it's given/gives every day of my existence here within the physical

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see/understand/realize that through wanting to live a normal life, I want to revert back to the self-destructive patterns that I allowed within relationship to the body and consumption of food within a utter lack of consideration of what I am putting the body through by consuming the foods that I consumed previous to being diagnosed with diabetes, and in this not wanting to face that I am now aware of how I've been destructive in relationship to the body and through wanting to have a `normal` life again, do not want to give myself the responsibility/awareness/care of myself needed to give myself a quality of life and care of myself as life within/as the body

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not give myself the care and responsibility needed to give myself a quality of life within diabetes through allowing myself to want and hold onto the want to live a normal live, not allowing myself to stand equal and one to the responsibility/awareness/care that is needed to give proper care of myself within diabetes and give myself life, and give care/consideration/awareness to the body and life on the whole within the food industry and what/how we are living and consuming, and in this further give myself the opportunity to understand the system of/as our living and how it has not been what is best for life, and through understanding what/how the body functions in relation to carbs/sugar/insulin correct my actions to do what is best for the body and share what we are doing to the body within the consumption of the foods, and stand within a point of correction within the foods that we consume, and the amount of sugar that is processed through the body within our diet

More on this tomorrow

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