Sunday, February 3, 2013
Day 284 - Self Trust Part 3
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear my trust of myself to practically apply myself within responsibilities as if I am not in control of myself, as if I am subject to external forces in which I allow myself to not participate effectively within responsibilities, not realizing that I am in fact responsible for my lack of responsibility and lack of self trust within walking points of responsibility by allowing myself to become lazy and apprehensive towards applying myself in responsibilities through allowing myself to be directed by thoughts/feelings/emotions and not from self direction within/as the responsibility
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that the fear of myself in trust to walk points of responsibility, to work within and become responsible for myself in this life time within what I have accepted and allowed myself to become and live as and accordingly accept within the world, accept as all life, is real and valid, and in this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not slow myself down within the fear of myself in self trust and breathe through the fear, breathe through the backchat regarding trust of myself and in breathing and slowing myself down start to walk the physical actions necessary to work on the responsibility, meaning when in a point of fear of trust of myself wherein I am accepting myself to be lazy, resistant, apprehensive towards responsibility, slow myself down in that fear, and breathe within the reactions towards walking responsibility and patiently, gently move myself within the physical to start the work on the point of responsibility and expand myself within the responsibility, like literally taking a step here with myself in the physical and moving myself as myself
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to move myself within points of responsibility via the fear that I have accepted and allowed myself to create/live as in regards to responsibility whereas I become lazy and resistant towards a point of responsibility for myself in giving myself a dignified life, be it homework, waking up on time to remain consistent and constant and stable in regularly testing blood glucose, or injecting in the regular intervals in time, or simple points of hygiene etc, direct myself from the backchat and fear of myself in trust of myself to walk those points of responsibility, instead of myself here within self direction/movement - in this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realize/understand that in the resistance and apprehensiveness towards working with myself in responsibility is a point in which I accumulate stress within myself and the solution to the stress is to not allow the resistance or apprehensiveness to build up through time but to direct myself in breath without thoughts/fear/feelings/emotions in the point of responsibility by/as bringing the point of responsibility here as me in breath and walking it here as me in breath in stability, and in this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realize/understand that to move through this acceptance of myself in regards to trust and responsibility, I am in fact going to need to direct myself in breath without thoughts/feelings/emotions and in this start to live a point of stability in regards to trust in responsibility to move myself and in this re-program myself to be a responsible human being for this world and myself in this world for/as how I've accepted myself to be in relationship to this world/life in all dimensions, and how I've accepted and allowed this world to be an image and likeness of myself as creator
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize/see/understand that who I am within procrastination and self movement within points of responsibility are how I create the point of lack of self trust of myself to move within points of responsibility and that to start to trust myself to move within points of responsibility I must move myself from/for myself in points of responsibility when I am procrastinating or in a point of resistance towards the responsibility and within this work with myself in developed/creating a relationship with myself of trust and support for myself in responsibility for doing what is best for all life
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to procrastinate and hold off on responsibilities, and while doing so, backchat and nag at myself to work on the points of responsibility, and in this see that these points of responsibility are `more important` than what I am doing within procrastinating and when I nag at myself within backchat about responsibility in/as importance, push the backchat away and attempt to ignore myself within the backchat and continue within procrastination/self interest and in this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize/see/understand that in order for myself to develop self trust within points of responsibility and self support within responsibility, I must walk the points of responsibility in immediacy and stick to a schedule which is supportive of myself in points of responsibility and in this it is going to mean that I must make the decision within myself to work on the responsibility and not wait for time to come to a `closing` before I work on the responsibility.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to put off points of responsibility until the time that I have to work/get done that responsibility comes to a closing in this allowing myself to not trust myself to effectively work with myself in/as the point of responsibility and thus in this create stress within myself as I live in fear and worry of myself in points of trust within responsibility, and in this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not work on points of responsibility in immediacy in breath, whereas a point of opportunity within responsibility is shown within my immediate reality to breathe and in breathing stop the reactions/responses towards walking the point of responsibility and in breathing direct myself within the point of responsibility, placing myself as responsibility and the responsibility here as me in breath and walking it unconditionally and in this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that in one moment of allowing myself to abdicate responsibility by entertaining myself while working on a point of responsibility or entertaining myself in thought/imagination, or by allowing myself to procrastinate for a moment, I allow myself to not walk that point of responsibility the best that I can because for that one moment I `lose` myself in the thoughts and entertainment and thus when/as I get back to focusing on the responsibility I've lost where I was and must essentially start over.
I commit myself to working on points of responsibility immediately, meaning to work with myself in working on the point of responsibility immediately and developing that relationship with myself of self trust in working on points of responsibility and in this to work through the resistance and push myself in immediacy to move `quicker` than the reactions towards points of responsibility
I commit myself to when/as I am resisting a point of responsibility, to slow myself down and be patient with myself in slowing myself down, and within slowing myself down bring myself back here in breath and focus myself on the responsibility and stop all distractions that I may be allowing myself to participate within and in this move myself here in breath on the point of responsibility
I commit myself to developing a relationship with myself in responsibility where I start to live responsibility immediately, and in this I commit myself to start developing this relationship by working with myself here in/as the points of responsibility that I still live day to day and in this expand myself in the points of responsibility by working on them when there is time here/now and not putting it off until later so that if I am able to expand and work further within the responsibility I do not need to necessarily drop it and do something else due to time, and in this as well I commit myself to sticking with points of responsibility as me as the expression of myself and not dropping them when/as I feel that they are `complete` or `handled` but to continually apply, maintain, and expand myself within responsibility